(Closed) best friends wedding but the groom doesn’t want my husband to attend?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

uhhhhh  i think you need to stand by your man on this.  this is quite preposterous and rude.

Post # 3
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Her Fiance sounds like a douche. I wouldn’t go to a wedding that my husband was forbidden to attend.

Post # 4
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My husband comes first and I would not attend any wedding that he was excluded from.

Post # 7
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d simply tell her that you were sorry her FH felt that way and that unfortunately you will not be able to attend.

Post # 8
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have to agree with everyone else.  If my husband is not welcome, then neither am I.

Post # 8
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Stand by your husband. There is no way your friend’s Fiance should be able to have you help out and be there to see them get married without inviting your husband too. I think anyone planning a wedding knows that you can’t invite a person without their “other half”.

I guess I can kind of see why her Fiance wouldn’t want him there, but I still think too bad. Your husband is married to YOU now anyway, he’s clearly not going after your friend anymore! He’s going to have to be grown up about this and either invite both of you or neither of you (of which the latter does not sound like a reasonable option)

Post # 9
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@StarBadAzz: very simple.  and don’t forget, your friend is complicit in this, whether or not she is blaming it all on her husband to be.

“i very much want to attend your wedding, and it breaks my heart that i will be unable to do so, but i just can’t do that to my husband.”

you don’t need any “i hope you understand”s or apologies.  this girl is just as much to blame.

Post # 10
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@sailor: Agreed – we are all adults

Post # 11
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yeah, I would never leave my husband behind in that type of situation.

I agree with @Mrs. Meowerson: and her suggestion on how to tell her.

Post # 12
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wasn’t there a post that was similar to this one recently but the complete opposite?  I.E. the bride wanted to invite her friend but not the friend’s husband b/c they had dated previously?  I believe the advice for that one was you invite them both or not at all.  I think the same thing applies here, and I agree with the PP’s.

Post # 14
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@StarBadAzz: I would not attend a destination wedding my husband wasn’t able to attend.  SOunds like because it s Destination Wedding that you would be staying the night over somewhere (if not a couple nights) I don’t think its realistic for your friend to ask you to go without your husband.  If your friend wants you there then she needs to make it clear to her Fiance that he’s being a douche.

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