(Closed) best friends wedding but the groom doesn’t want my husband to attend?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 15
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

good luck!

Post # 16
Member
2536 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

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@MUI831: I was thinking the same thing.

Post # 17
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would tell her just as she wouldnt go against her fiance’s wishes you will not be leaving your husband at home.

Post # 18
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with the pp

I wouldn’t leave my husband.  If it’s truly all her Fiance then she will understand if you tell her you can’t attend. 

Post # 19
Member
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

How about bring him on the trip but leave him out of the ceremony/ reception. It’s your BFF, you should be there to support HER, screw him.

He cannot control who takes a vacation. He can control (or have a say) in who attends his wedding. Obviously you have to let your gf know this ahead of time.

 

Say I will come to the wedding but I am not travelling alone. Husband will be coming, however if he must miss the ceremony so be it. I think that’s a workable and fair compramise.

Post # 21
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@vmec: i think this misses the point.  if she were to do this, it would basically be saying that excluding her husband was acceptable.

Post # 22
Member
399 posts
Helper bee

I agree with the hive, although you have helped out with the planning, simply wish her the best but tell her with regrets you can’t attend without your husband.

Post # 23
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Considering you are now married I don’t see how this friends fiance would think your husband is a threat. Like really grow up. So I agree with PP that you stand by your husband and tell her sorry but unless they change their mind you won’t be attending the wedding.

Post # 24
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I wouldn’t go without my FH either.

Post # 26
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

There is no way I would attend without my husband.. and that is so wrong that it would even be considered.. I politely decline

Post # 27
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

i mean i would politely decline lol sorry

Post # 28
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

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@StarBadAzz: I wouldn’t call your friend’s FH. If it were me, I would make it clear to my friend that I would not be going without my FH/DH. (Like another PP said, no apologies or anything, because I think it’s rude for them to do that.) Then if within a reasonable amount of time, they change their minds, I’d think about attending with my FH/DH.

Also, there will be someone attending our wedding that I don’t want there but this person will be in attendance because it is important to my FH. And there will be someone attending our wedding that FH doesn’t want to be there, but he will be coming because it is important to me. We make sacrifices in relationships, and your friend should be negotiating with her FH to make it so that your husband can attend– not hoping that you’d go without your husband. I would be very offended by that.

Post # 29
Member
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@Mrs. Meowerson: I don’t. I think that’s a reasonable compramise. The BFF can’t make her groom invite the hubby. I mean she can try all she wants but this is the grooms thing, he’s allowed to hate her ex’s (even if he’s married now).

And he isn’t excluded in total. He’s not coming to the ceremony, but he gets to vacation with his wife. That sounds alright to me.

Question for the OP: how does your hubby feel? Does he want to attend the wedding? IF he doesn’t give a crap about the wedding, but wants to take a vacay- I think my suggestion sounds fab! If however he’s pissed he’s being excluded (which I’m not deneying is reasonable- I’d be pissed) I guess not attending at all would be the best choice.

Was just trying to give everyone a bit of what they wanted 🙂

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