(Closed) Best friends wedding or nieces graduation.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Best friends wedding or nieces graduation?
    Wedding : (118 votes)
    55 %
    Graduation : (98 votes)
    45 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    2606 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Do you want your best friend to remain your best friend?  If so, then pick her wedding.  If you don’t care that this could ruin the friendship, then pick the graduation.

    Post # 19
    Member
    11269 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @amandalillian:  does your friend know that you may not be at her wedding?  how does she feel about it?  do you think that this is why you are feeling torn?  you don’t want to ruin your friendship?

    Post # 21
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @amandalillian:  definitely your friend’s wedding.  In the grand scheme of things, your niece’s high school graduation is not a huge event in her life.  It may seem that way to her now, but in 10 years, she won’t remember.  I definitely don’t even remember my high school graduation or who was there. If it was her wedding or your friend’s wedding, I could see the dilemma.  But IMO, a high school graduation is a right of passage, not an event that comes close to the significance of a wedding. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    9135 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @amandalillian:  Wedding hands down.  I’m sorry but high school graduation while important is not as big of a deal as a wedding.  Plus, I find it odd that extended family is attending a high school graduation at all.  We were only allowed a few tickets to graduation so family was never able to attend anyway.

    I get wanting a family trip to Florida but I can tell you from experience, if you pick the graduation over the wedding, your friendship will end.  I was in a similar situation with a friend of mine that planned a Sunday wedding out of town.  I RSVP’d no because I couldn’t take the time off work.  In the meantime I made plans to attend a friend’s birthday party on the Saturday before her wedding.  Lo and behold the bride called me a few weeks before her big day to tell me they had moved the wedding to Saturday and I should be able to attend.  I chose the birthday party over the wedding and the friendship pretty much fizzled out and died a slow death afterwards.

    Your niece would be disappointed but she would ultimately understand.  The thing I don’t understand here is why your family isn’t being more supportive of her attending college.  If you do go to the graduation make it your personal mission to get the girl into college (or technical school).  A HS diploma is pretty useless these days unless you want to make minimum wage which is barely enough to live on in most places.

    Post # 23
    Member
    11269 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @amandalillian:  maybe once you tell your friend, the torn feeling will disappear.  it’s probably not necessarily a torn feeling but a feeling of letting someone down.  it happens when you have to give someone bad news. 

    i would suggest letting her know sooner than later and explain that you committed to your niece once the wedding was cancelled.  let her know that if anything changes with the graduation date, then you will be there for her.  i’m sure once you talk to her, you will feel great relief with your decision.

    Post # 24
    Member
    3081 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @casey219:  I disagree. A high school graduation might be really important for some people. Thre are plenty of kids who struggle all throughout high school and graduation is more than a mere right of passage. It’s a real accomplishment for them. She did say her niece probably wasn’t going to college, so this might be a big deal for the family. 

    I don’t know, to me, family always triumphs friends. Family is for life. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    1797 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @amandalillian:  You’ve committed yourself to your niece’s graduation, and your plans shouldn’t change just because your friend decided to push back her wedding date. You owe it to your niece to be there, and it really sounds like your niece’s graduation is more likely to happen than your best friend’s wedding. How upset would your niece be if your friend canceled her wedding again after you decided to attend the wedding over the graduation, and then were like, “I can come now!” 

    Post # 26
    Member
    966 posts
    Busy bee

    Nieces graduation. Family trumps everything. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    663 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think weddings are much more important to attend than graduations. A wedding takes a lot of time to plan and it’s all about the couple. In a graduation, there are hundreds or thousands of students, and whoever you’re there to see walks across the stage for like 10 seconds?? That’s it. High school graduations are not that important to me.

    I am someone who is graduating from college 6 weeks before my wedding, and I would never want anyone to miss my wedding in order to attend my graduation if they had to choose between the two.

     

    P.S. you should add a poll!

    Post # 28
    Member
    2606 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @FoxyBride14:  I don’t know, to me, family always triumphs friends. Family is for life. 

    For me, and many others, friends may not be the family we are born into or share blood with, but they are the family we choose.  If this was MY Best Friend, this wouldn’t even be a question, I would choose the wedding.

    However, it doesn’t sound like the OP really cares much for her “best friend” and it may be better to choose the graduation and let the friendship die.  The best friend will be hurt, but I think it would hurt less in the long run to end the relationship now rather than suck it up, go to the wedding, and then be in wedding pictures ever after while the friendship withers.

    Post # 29
    Member
    6256 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Normally I’d say a wedding trumps a graduation easily, but this wedding sounds like it may not be too serious. You’d already committed to go to the graduation by the time the couple got their shit together, so I’d say you’re in the clear to go to that instead. You don’t sound like you have a great deal of faith in the couple, so you probably shouldn’t be at the wedding, anyway.

    Post # 30
    Member
    578 posts
    Busy bee

    Best friend’s wedding, if she’s really a best friend. High school graduation isn’t a big deal, unless there were major obstacles to overcome on the way. It sounds like you already picked the niece over the best friend though. 

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