Post # 62
@amandalillian: I picked graduation due to the way you worded your post (I haven’t read all the replies…). Normally a BFF wedding would trump that, but if you feel like your niece who you are very close with would be hurt if you did not attend, and since you actually made those plans first while the wedding was off, I would go to that and explain to BFF exactly that – that unfortunately you made other plans when there was no wedding date and although you’d love to be there, it’s impossible to be at both. Especially if you already purchased the tickets.
Post # 63
@amandalillian: If it were me in this situation, I’d probably just go with what I committed to first.
Post # 64
The number of people who would put their friends before their family astounds me. Of course you go to the graduation. Tell your friend that while she was dealing with her relationship issues, you made plans to go to your niece’s graduation and your family’s annual trip.
It’s your blood you’re blowing off.
Post # 65
@amandalillian: I see you already made up your mind but I wanted to support you going to the graduation. If you had already committed to the planned wedding and then your found out your niece’s graduation was the same day, I would tell you to stick with the wedding since it was planned first. However, when you cancel/change the date of any event you’re risking people not being able to attend anymore. Tell your friend you are so sorry but when she cancelled everything you made plans to go to the graduation instead and you already told your niece you would be there. Go to the shower/support all her wedding stuff, you just can’t make the wedding. And (and I mean this in the nicest way possible) definitely keep your trap shut about her fiancé. You don’t want an inkling of you not wanting to attend because of him to seep out. Take extra care to be nice and keep yourself in the clear!
Post # 66
@FutureMrsHallam: A wee bit snarky are we not?
Sorry, the US graduation rate is something like 75% not 99%.
By age 34 married atleast once is something like 73%….meaning that you are only 2% more likely to graduate highschool than get married.
Post # 67
@searock: Yes I was, I normally try not to be so harsh :/
But really my point still remains, getting married is a huge commitment and completely life altering, tethering you (hopefully forever, and it should be regarded as forever until they decide divorce…) to another human being, changing your family, starting a family, changing your life path forever in a huge way.
Highschool isn’t even completely neccessary in todays society anyway. Going back to school, later finishing, traineeships/apprenticeships/cadetships, there are many other qualifications one can receive, do you celebrate them all? Doubt it.
It’s just highschool.
Post # 68
@FutureMrsHallam: Well, one could argue that highschool is necessary for most American jobs, but that’s neither here nor there.
A relationship already tethers the OP to her niece (who’s more like a cousin/sister) and that bond of family is important.
You must be privliaged to think 99% of people graduate HS.
Highschool is still a decision and an accomplishment for many people, especally those in more west/southern states and those in innercities where the rates are lower. New England/NY has one the the higest graduation rates wheras places like Nevada had a 62% rate. American Indians have one of the worst graduation rates (and socio-economic problems to boot). In DC you are statistically MORE likely to be married than to hold a highschool diploma HS gradation rate 49%, First time marriages (based on lisences) 64%
I work in education, so I guess I see things differently. People will never loose their education. People in the US, in general, are not committed to marriage. US marriages have a 50% chance of failure, so really, one should put more weight on the HS graduation as atleast 90% of them become employed and thus “sucessful” atleast at living.
Post # 69
- Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema
We don’t graduate from high school in NZ, so the idea has always seemed strange to me!
Even at uni graduations, generally it’s only parents and SOs, because I mean, come on, graduations are BORING!!!!!
I get from watching American films that they are a big deal, but really….I don’t think they are to anyone other than the person graduating and their parents!
Post # 70
For you sounds like the graduation is your priority and frankly you made those plans in absense of her canceling and rescheduling hers.
But for me, it would be Boyfriend or Best Friend wedding hands down.