- 9 years ago
Me ex and I used to be friends with another couple, for the sake of the story, lets call them Jenn and Gerald. Now, Jenn and Gerald had a less than healthy relationship. They would have loud and angry arguments in public and their disagreements would turn volatile and has once gotten physical (she attacked him with a knife). No one in our little group thought they should be together. Jenn was very controlling not allowing Gerald to have any friends or go anywhere without her. She was selective about new people for fear he would find them attractive. Example: We all once went to a resataurant called Tilted Kilts (think Irish Hooters) where the waitresses are scantily clad and flirtacious. Jenn flipped out and called our waitress a whore for “making eyes” at Gerald; very embarassing. Anyway, our group began to disclude Jenn and Gerald for the simple fact that it started to get embarassing to be in public with them, and since Gerald could never be without Jenn, that meant no hanging out with Gerald.
Once, Jenn and Gerald broke up for a brief period of time. I was interested in introducing him to a girlfriend of mine, so being the matchmaker that I can be, I was talking to Gerald more to get the scoop. Getting to know Gerald more outside of his relationship with Jenn was great and I couldnt believe I didnt know what a great guy he was. I introduced him to my girlfriend and they hit it off. They carried on a brief courtship however, Jenn returned to the picture and we didnt hear too much from Gerald after that.
Fast forward a year or so later. A little after my ex and I split, I got back in touch with Gerald. We exchanged a few messages on Facebook and kept each other up to date. We exchanged numbers and would chat from time to time. We had to keep it from Jenn because at that point, they didnt have any outside friends and with my ex and I no longer together, she would automatically assume I would be after Gerald. Jenn and Gerald were fighting more than ever and Gerald was getting exasperated. Our conversations became more frequent and were deeper as we talked about things in our lives and getting to know each other.
About a couple of months ago, Gerald and Jenn broke up. I rolled my eyes and said “Yeah, likely story.” but he insisted that it was definite this time. We did get to talk more often and then we arranged to go see a movie together. After coffee, a movie, dinner, and then more coffee, I felt like a teenager. There was definite chemistry there, and I hadnt laughed or smiled like that in a very long time. Getting home, I was giddy and excited but for what I dont know. I talked myself down and a few days later, Gerald called me during the day (doesnt happen too much because he works nights). I picked it up concerned something was wrong but couldnt hear him. He texted me and said “I havent stopped thinking about you. I always felt like you were the person I should be with. I think of you and your daughter and wish you both were mine. I see you as being Mrs. Gerald.” I read that and melted. It took me over 10 mins to reply because I kept reading it. Gerald and I have been seeing each other pretty much every weekend since. I was just sitting here thinking and worrying about breaking that news to my ex and explaining it to him, should things between Gerald and I get to be very serious (and thats what I am hoping for, I’m just not ready to commit yet, very nervous). I hadnt planned on telling him until we got serious. My ex hasnt been very proactive with my daughter so I would hope he wouldnt be too upset, but I know he will probably. Meanwhile, I thought it was a good love story.
Should I be so concerned with how he would feel or what he would think? Would he everntually see it as a good love story like I do?