(Closed) Best man and sister-in-law drama.

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
8283 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
timethief :  Well if family really came first they probably shouldn’t be supporting M cheating on her husband and breaking up her family. Some people’s logic is just crazy. You and your Fiance TELL your family what is happening and that regardless of their opinions your Fiance will have his best man by his side on the big day.

Post # 3
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Lake Louise Canada

PP is 100% correct. Not their choice.

Post # 4
10282 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

It’s not thier decision. Have your fiancé tell them it’s not up for discussion and he doesn’t want to hear any more about it.

Family clearly wasn’t all that important to his sister when she was cheating on her husband. 

Post # 5
3067 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Have your fiance put his foot down with his family. If M feels that strongly she can skip the wedding. She is being completely out of line. 

Do NOT cater to their selfish, immature demands. G is the best man, end of story. 

Post # 6
1988 posts
Buzzing bee

Not their choice at all. M’s fault for screwing around on her husband (and brothers best friend) for 6+ months. Why should your fiance lose his best man, because of his sister’s actions?

Post # 7
355 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think I could word it better than PP. I would tell them exactly what MsBeer said. I’d also add that G is the father of FI’s niece, which still makes him family. Also, I advise you to think & decide now on how to proceed with SIL’s new boyfriend and the wedding and let them know ASAP. 

Post # 8
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Wow that is definitely some serious drama.

I think PP are correct that you really have to stand your ground. You should refuse to argue with your in-laws and just continue to state your intentions. End the conversation if they start pitching fits.

I would also do your very best to keep G and M separated as much as possible on the day of the wedding. Seat them very far apart and don’t make him take any group photos with her. This should hopefully reduce the risk of any sort of dramatic outburst on the wedding day.

Good luck to you. This is a messy situation for sure.

Post # 9
7362 posts
Busy Beekeeper

My best friend is my best friend. NO ONE dictates who that is standing in support of me. She should be embrassed and ashamed. The audacity of trying to make YOUR wedding about her selfish ass choices. Nope. 

Post # 10
4295 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
timethief :  Funny how “family comes first” is the argument they use to oust the husband of their cheating daughter from any wedding obligations. If they were truly “family first” they’d rightfully be embarrassed by their daughter’s actions. This is someone who has been a part of their family for several years who is still the father of their graddaughter, so, frankly, I’d tell this woman to shove it. Also, it would make me, as a person marrying into this family, very worried that this is what their first reaction is to do: ostrocize the in-law, specifically the in-law not at fault with what happened. To me, it doesn’t show a very supportive family.

If this were me, I’d tell Mother-In-Law to shove it and keep her opinions to herself. If she has any complaints, she can direct them to your SIL, who is at fault for all of this, not you or your Fiance. I also absolutely, strongly urge you not to kick this man out of your wedding because FI’s sister cheated on him. 

Post # 11
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

WOW i don’t see how family comes first when M’s new man has G’s CHILD in his profile pic!!! I mean wow!  And moving into G’s house!  That’s horrendous.

Post # 12
7847 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree with PPs–M is the perpetrator, not the victim here, and deserves no concessions or special consideration. I hope for everyone’s sake M has the good sense and courtesy to not arrive at the wedding on the arm of her new toy. 

Post # 13
6798 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Am I the only one who wouldn’t invite sister M at all?  I give zero support for that kind of trashy behavior and she and her scumbag boyfriend would not be invited. If the family also refused to come, I’d assume I knew where she learned all those high morals and good riddance to them all (though that could suck for fiancé). homewreckers don’t belong at weddings.

Post # 14
7303 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I don’t have anything new to say about what to do about inviting your FI’s close friend to be his best man- I think Ms. Beer’s response is perfect.

I just wanted to say – make sure you let the sister know now that her boyfriend is not invited to the wedding and will be escorted out if he shows up.

Then, I would strongly advise you not speak with any of these people about this any further between now and your wedding. When anyone tries to bring it up just say “We’ve made our decision and we will not be discussing it.”

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