(Closed) Best Man anyone care to input?

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

What does he need a “back up” for? All the best man does is stand up next to the groom the day of…right? Is he afraid he won’t show? the only thing my Fiance Best man has been involved with is the bachelor party…

Post # 4
Member
8435 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I am also confused by what you and your Fiance feel the best man should be doing?

In general most guys (even a lot of grooms) have little to no involvement with planning the wedding.

The best man traditionally plans the bachelor party but isn’t required to and it can be planned by someone else!

Post # 7
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Tricky, how do you go about having a back up? “hey I know I didn’t pick you to be my best man but if ____ doesn’t show, can you step in?” I’m not sure there is anyway to delicately put that without making someone feel like just a back up . 

Post # 8
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, if he doesn’t show up on the day of, someone else WILL step in. If there are other groomsmen, I’m sure they will offer to “take his place” and hold the rings, do they best they can with speeches, etc.

I would not designate a back up beforehand that may not even come into play. I think you would end up with hurt feelings on both sides that way.

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