(Closed) Best Man Behaved Badly at Engagement Dinner – What Now?

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@blingthing:  So sorry that this has happened to you -that really wasn’t fair at any time, let alone at the rehearsal!

I wouldn’t say you have to suck it up at all. I would say that you need you Fiance to have a serious chat with the best man, and perhaps suggest to him that should he still want to talk at the wedding then he will not be drinking at all (except 1 glass of champagne perhaps) before he gives his speech.

If your fiance is also considering whether the best man should now be a part of the wedding, then perhaps it would be best for both of you to exclude him from being a part of the wedding, and have him there instead as a guest. Does your Fiance have any idea who he would have as best man instead?


Post # 4
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@blingthing:  He’s proven he can’t be trusted to be appropriate.  Keep him as Best Man, but ask someone else to make a toast.  He’ll understand and, I’m sure, be embarrassed about it.  Good luck!

Post # 5
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@blingthing:  He has a history of getting drunk and behaving badly.

I am assuming your Fiance knew this when he asked him to be the best man.

I suggest that your Fiance have a talk with him and ask him to refrain from drinking until after the dinner.


Post # 6
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Really up to you and your fiance. Esp your fiance. Don’t feel bad, I was going to say that maybe you should find out why he would say such things but you answered it already, he broke off his own engagement. He wasn’t trying to intentionally sabotage anything or hurt your feelings on purpose. You said it yourself he wasn’t in a good place. What is a worry is him saying something embarrassing and inappropriate for his speeches. Your fiance can always ask him to step back from the speeches, he can explain that he moght not be in a good place to write one, and that he doesn’t want to ask him to do something uncomfortable considering where he is in his life. I agree with 

@aekc:  he can still be best man but he doesn’t have to be the one to make a speech. Why don’t you both make a speech to each other? do something different and uber romantic!

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