(Closed) Best man blows us off..again (vent)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yet another reason I hate Facebook.  People forget when they post that the entire world can see your business (or whomever you’ve “friended”).  Ugh.

It sounds like this to me:  Assuming the best man is a single guy.  Correct?  If yes, continue here:  He’s not into the wedding thing too much.  He was invited to two parties.  One party was going to be a wedding-family-couples-type party.  The other party was sounding more fun to him.  Possibly there were single women there?  (Speculating here).  I would not take it personally that he didn’t attend your party.  He was being a typical young, single guy and wanting to party and have fun.

If he isn’t single, I have no idea why he blew off your party unless he was alone that night or his gf wanted to go elsewhere. 

Your Fiance is now close to being “married guy.”  Expect the drift to continue.  Remind him repeatedly about your wedding so he doesn’t flake out on that.  That would be bad and you’d have every right to be pissed off, forever, even.

But don’t take the rest of it personally.  In his mind it is all about him.  To a young single guy almost nothing is more boring than hanging out with a happy engaged couple.  😉  Unless you have a hot single friend you can lure him with from now on, lol.

Post # 5
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@tntrav44:  I agree, what he did was rude.  I’m just saying his behavior is to be expected and it’s very common.  I’m not saying what he did was right, not at all.  Maybe you should talk to him, you said the two of you used to be close friends.  Why don’t you ask him what’s up?

Post # 6
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

guys aren’t into wedding stuff.  I can see him preferring to go to a different party.  but he should have told you he had other plans.  

Post # 9
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@tntrav44:  Oh, wow.  That’s a different thing altogether.  It sounds as though you may have cause for concern. 

Could he be depressed?  Or could some type of substance abuse be involved?  I’d be worried if this were my friend, for his well-being more than anything else. 

Let him know you’re there for him if he needs/wants to talk.  Could you and your Fiance just maybe have him over for dinner, and try to speak with him privately?  Just to ask if he’s ok and maybe offer some help if he needs it?  Maybe he’s going through something and feeling alone right now.  If he feels he’s going to be jumped all over for flaking out he may not open up.  But if he feels cared for and supported as a friend, you may be able to get to the bottom of what’s going on with him.

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