(Closed) Best Man Can’t Make It?

posted 10 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee

If the potential best man means that much to you and/or your Fiance, then he should be a best man still! If your that worried about the symmetry thing, why not have the two MOH’s walk on each side of the best man (all three could walk down the aisle at the same time). It would actually set them apart even more as being special since the others would be walking in two’s.

Besides, you don’t want to miss the chance to have him in your wedding if he does get to attend before his departure.

Post # 5
Member
35 posts
Newbee

I think the peace corps sorta trumps being in a wedding…don’t take that the wrong way, but its a little ridiculous that he should have to put his dreams aside for a one day thing. I also think its totally fine to have things un-symmetrical! I doubt that anyone would even notice! He’s doing an amazing, unselfish thing! And yes, Miss Chocochip put it right, there is a chance he could still be in it! Best of both worlds!

Post # 6
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Um, do you know how hard it is to be in the Peace Corp? They don’t just let everyone in. This is a big accomplishment for him and a really life-changing thing. Sorta like your wedding is to you. It’s important to respect the needs of others.

Post # 8
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Oh I see, I read it as you wanted him to choose you guys. Is it really that important that your numbers be even?

Post # 9
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

My closest aunt, a friend who was supposed to be a groomsman, and a few of our closest friends can’t make it to our wedding for various reasons and I’m not gonna lie I’m going to miss them. I’m making peace with it by reminding myself that this day is about us and in the end we will be married and those who miss the wedding will still be able to share in our marriage and life together.

Post # 11
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I think your fiance should still tell the guy that he wants him as a best man but that he would totally understand if he can’t make it. Tell him that there is a second best man too to kind of ‘take the pressure off’ of Peace Corps guy’s decision. That way maybe he won’t feel like he’s letting your fiance down as much if it turns out he can’t be there.

Post # 12
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay

Could you make him an honorary best man, should he be deployed with the Peace Corps come wedding day?  Maybe someone can read a toast from him, etc. 

Post # 15
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

I second Miss Quiche – I think thats a great idea! That being said, the awkwardness will become exponential if you "demote" the other girl. I vote no demote. Unless it’s the situation where she couldn’t care less, but I doubt that it’s that sort of situation – otherwise you wouldn’t be worried. Can he jsut add another groomsman so that your umbers are even, if you have 4 on each side the 2 Maid/Matron of Honor 1 Best man won’t be clear.  If all the girls wear the same dress you still won’t be able to tell who is the Maid/Matron of Honor and who isn’t.
they would walk in

Maid/Matron of Honor & Best man

Maid/Matron of Honor & groomsman

Bridesmaid or Best Man & gm

Bridesmaid or Best Man & gm 

I think you can maintain the symmetry without having to demote anyone or lose the chosen best men.
 

Post # 16
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Could you talk to your Future Father-In-Law about maybe stepping in as a best man if the guy can’t make it? How much notice will you have that you need to find someone else? You don’t have to buy/rent the men’s stuff till a LOT closer to the wedding than the girls’ so it might even be possible to just ask the father once you know, without letting on that he was a second choice. My FH’s best man is his father, but when we had to drop a GM(personal reasons), we asked my FH’s twin sister’s fiance (complicated!) to step in. He wasn’t offended at that he was a backup, and both he and the twin are happy he gets to be in it.

The topic ‘Best Man Can’t Make It?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors