Post # 17
@dorsay- That’s a great suggestion! Thanks for posting it, I feel a lot better after you said that:)
@Liz.smith- Yeah…considering the fact that FH and Future Father-In-Law do NOT get along well (and Future Father-In-Law is the type who would become a "Dadzilla" in Miss Kitten’s words, given the opportunity to participate in the wedding) this is definitely a no go.
I’m considering seeing if my older brother can step in as a best man/groomsman. FH has known him since they were in the 7th grade, and, well, he’s my brother!
I have to add that I feel ridiculously awful posting about this thread. It was really sweet (and entirely unnecessary) of peace corps guy to tell me as soon as he found out this morning that he’s a potential candidate and then tell me that he might not be able to make our wedding because of his potential departure date at a time when he really should be thinking about himself and not us! But I just started freaking out because he’s such a good friend and we really want to show him that his friendship means so much to both our lives by having him in our wedding. And, if he can’t make it, we want to make sure everything looks like it’s smooth without him and there isn’t a gaping hole in a day that should be about Mr. B and I! So thanks for all your suggestions, everyone.
Post # 18
It sounds like the real question is if you should just book for two months ahead of schedule. I can aprreciate if you don’t want an uneven Bridal Party.
1. I say if it’s that important to you both to have the Peace Corp friend at the wedding, change it. Any word on when he’ll hear if he’s accepted?? I know you need to book venues, but March isn’t the busiest month. Could you hold off? I know if you cahnge the date, then find out that he didn’t get in, you might think that you’re stuck getting married in March for nothing…. If you can’t wait for the acceptance, I’d say change it to March. It sounds like having him there will mean more to you than having it in May.
Besides, how bad can San Francisco be in March?
Post # 19
@Tanya123- we don’t have any clue as to when he’ll be accepted. Er…your dates and location are a little off. Right now we are planning our wedding to be a May 2010 affair, so that we can enjoy the spring weather in Yosemite, our destination (=/= San Francisco). We would really rather avoid extreme weather seasons, which is why we’re not having the wedding in the summer (too hot!!) or winter (snowy!!). Which leaves…this fall. The hotel we are having it at in Yosemite books a year in advance, so I can check for cancellations but it’s pretty unlikely we’d be able to get in for this fall, not to mention it’s sort of crazy to push it forward by so much! We do really want him to be involved though, so I suppose it’s an option…
Post # 20
My brother actually had a situation where they found out one of his groomsmen couldn’t come about 3 weeks before the wedding. The Groomsmen were already standing up front at the beginning of the wedding, and the Bridesmaid or Best Man walked down the aisle one by one, so there was no asymmetry there. However, at the end of the wedding after the bride and groom walked out, the Bridesmaid or Best Man and the Maid/Matron of Honor came to the center of the church, and started their walk together. Then, the Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen linked up one by one in the center of the church.
What the guests didn’t realize is that the usher, who was my cousin, sat at the front of the church, and he snuck up and stood at the end of the groomsmen line. So when i got to the center of the church (I was the last bridesmaid), my cousin/the usher was there and we walked out together. It worked perfect!
So maybe just get creative… there’s a lot of ways to make it work!
Post # 21
Peace Corps > Your Wedding
No one will care that there are 2 people on 1 side and 1 on the other, and you can put something in the program that is an Honorary Best Man so people know that he was supposed to be there. It’s not the end of the world or even a big deal. If it works out or not, you still have bridesmaids and a best man, just not 2.
Post # 22
I think you should go ahead with what you have planned, keeping in mind that maybe he will not be able to be at your wedding. I worked with a guy who joined the Peace Corps a few years ago & when he left we all had to fill in for his position but it was such an amazing thing for him to do we were all more than happy to do it.
I agree with Miss Chocolate Chip that if he is not able to be there it would be cool to have your MOH’s walk together with the Bridesmaid or Best Man who is there,
If he finds out he gets into the PC and cannot be at your wedding how about asking him to write down whatever he would say if he could be there in person for his best man speech & then having maybe the other best man read that (as well as his own words) at your wedding.
Post # 23
Thanks, happilywaiting. I know that things aren’t set in stone yet with his peace corps stuff but you provided some great suggestions for ways to still include him. The news hit me like a ton of bricks this morning and I was in such a panic! Still though, he’s going for a super good cause so I can’t complain…