Post # 1
Hey all … I have a good friend who is looking for some advice. He’s best man at a wedding this weekend and was stunned when he got an e-mail from the bride today.
Apparently, the couple is expecting that he will do all the announcing for the reception, "not when people walk in, but everything else — cake cutting, each dance, bouquet toss, etc." He wanted me to tell him whether this was usual or implicity included in best man duties (no, and no, I told him).
He loves this couple, obviously, but is already stressed out enough about "having to remember everything, make sure the groom remembers everything and give a speech." And now he’s facing a TON of extra duties!
He has a good solution to propose — the groom has several brothers who aren’t in the wedding party. Perhaps one of them could emcee instead? (FYI, there is no DJ.)
His question is merely how to broach the subject with the bride and groom. He’s worried the bride may have asked him about this long ago and he just doesn’t remember.
Any suggestions are welcomed! Thanks!
Post # 3
I think he should be frank and say something along the lines of: "I was so flattered to be asked to be a best man and I am willing to take my responsibilities seriously. I am concerned by the email I received regarding emceeing the receptionship. I’m afraid that I may not be your best canidate as I’m not the best public speaker, and I will already be making a speech for the toasts. Is there anyone else in the family that can take charge of those duties? I know that the groom has several brothers maybe they can all be in charge of certain parts of the emceeing? Either way, I want you to know that I’m willing to help but I’m afraid that emceeing might be more than I can take on."
Post # 4
I think I would have him talk to the groom directly about the situation. Why is the bride contacting him about this such short notice anyways? It honestly sounds like she just realized that because they have no DJ to emcee, she needs to come up with someone to do these duties really quick and figures she can almost "con" him into doing it as a "best man duty". Have him explain his concern AND his solution to the groom and see where it goes from there. Bottom line, a task this large shouldn’t be delegated the week of the wedding completely last minute!
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2020 - Our home and the two acres it sits on
I think he should deal with the bride since she’s the one who emailed him. Plus, with just a few days to go, that might keep the bride and groom on speaking terms and avoid the whole telephone-game thing that happens.
"Gosh, I’m so flattered, but honestly, when I get emotional*, I stutter. Really. And I’d hate to distract you from enjoying your day by worrying about me. Can I help you find someone else to do the announcing, maybe someone who would enjoy the honor?"
*I used the word emotional because she may know he doesn’t stutter in public, but "emotional" isn’t something anyone’s likely to argue against or have ever seen before. And this way, he’s saying it’s about HER feelings, not his, and he’s offering to help her find someone else to emcee, so she doesn’t feel like OHMYGODANOTHERTHINGTODO… SHOOT ME. And we’ll just assume THAT’s why she overstepped and assumed and all of that.
Post # 6
Can he ask another groomsman to help out with the MC duties? That way he can "take care" of the situation without bothering the bride, while still keeping his plate clear to focus on his Best Man duties.
Phew, what a tough situation – good luck to everyone involved!!!
Post # 7
Thanks, all! He appreciated your advice (I sent him the link and told him to refresh to read what people had to say). He ended up e-mailing, then talking about this with the groom. The groom’s father is going to do the emcee duties instead!
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery
YAY! So glad it all worked out 🙂