(Closed) Best Man Nightmare- What To Do?

posted 4 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 2
787 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

I understand your concerns. How much time are you giving each person for their speeches. You could limit the time for the speeches if you feel like it would be an issue. Maybe your fiance could have a conversation with him prior to the wedding and let him know not to say anything out the way during his speech if you decide to let him give a speech at the wedding. It is his best friend regardless of the differences that they may have. He’s his best friend for a reason. 

Post # 3
77 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
countrybride1208 :  Your fiancé chose someone that has insulted you and swore at you to be his best man? I don’t think your problem is the speech.

Post # 4
2206 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I guess I don’t really understand why your partner would want him being best man, not because of the fact he’s inappropriate but because of how he’s treated you. I think I would personally want someone there who didn’t respect my partner and me. Your partner isn’t responsible for his friends actions but he can turn around and say “you don’t get to treat my partner that way”. Yes he called him out on it but his friend has still shown a massive lack of respect for you and I think that would be something to consider on your wedding day.

Now, if he chooses him as his best man and his best man is inappropriate then it will only your day if you let it. You can’t control someone else and neither can your partner. So in that situation your family can not hold him responsible. It’s unfair and you need to make sure that your family don’t blame your partner. Which I think means you need to sit with your partner, express your concerns particularly with him insulting you and explain why it would be hard for you to back him on that. That would be really hard for me when his friend has insulted me.

Post # 5
4810 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
countrybride1208 :  Your FI’s choice of friends will be an issue long after the wedding and speech is over.  You might want to give that some thought.  

Post # 8
6842 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Well you can’t get rid of him now, though I agree with the ladies above as far as your fiancé’s choice of friends.  However what’s done is done. Why not have him run his speech by the Maid/Matron of Honor beforehand to make sure it’s appropriate?  And add a time limit so there’s no chance for ad lib.  And have fiancé make very clear to him that any drunken inappropriate behavior and he’s out the door.

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