- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
This is more a rant than anything, maybe a request for reassurance from bees who have/had a Best Man who’s a problem and maybe came through?
Fiance chose his older brother as his Best Man. I don’t agree with this choice, but I’m an only child, so apparently this is “no question” for them (FI was Bridesmaid or Best Man as his brother’s wedding). Bridesmaid or Best Man lives in another state with his wife and son, and he’s really changed since their son was born (almost two years ago). We used to Skype with them every Sunday to see the baby and keep in touch with them, Fiance used to chat and play games with Bridesmaid or Best Man all the time, but recently…nothing. Future Sister-In-Law was up here with the baby for a few months at the beginning of this year because her dad had surgery, so she came up to help with their daycare while he was recovering. Bridesmaid or Best Man was going to come up, too, but ended up only flying up here for a week (which they spent 99% at her parents’ house, except the one night when they went over to FMIL’s late at night while she was asleep and then left while she was at work) and driving them back home.
When Bridesmaid or Best Man came up, he told us that his phone was broken and he wasn’t going to get a new one, so call his wife’s phone (which she never answers). They “can’t afford” to get him a new $10 prepaid phone because their kid costs so much…except that they don’t ever have to buy anything for him, because all of the grandparents bought them enough stuff that the kid will never need anything. Okay, whatever. They were a pain to get ahold of; they never answered wife’s phone, and they were never home (supposedly) when we called her parents’ phone. I think we saw Future Sister-In-Law and the baby maybe three or four times, briefly, while she was here (for FOUR MONTHS), and saw Bridesmaid or Best Man once, and they would always leave early or come late with some lame excuse. But Future Sister-In-Law had time to get together with FI’s ex and her baby (at FMIL’s house!).
Anyway. The Skyping stopped. They were always “busy” or “not at home” or would straight up not answer their phone. Fiance hasn’t heard from his brother for over a month. We haven’t Skyped with them two months or longer. They don’t answer the phone, no matter when we call (FSIL is home all day).
So now, I want Fiance to pick a new Bridesmaid or Best Man (although I’m sure this wouldn’t be well-received). Someone reliable, and preferably who lives around here. His brother is going to have to come up here, rent a tux, throw a stag, and I just think that Fiance is going to end up disappointed in his brother (and I’m going to end up angrier than I already am). However, he refuses to see anything wrong, continues to be silently hurt by his brother’s actions (or lack thereof), and keeps making excuses for him. I know we have over a year, but things are just getting worse.
Anyone have a Bridesmaid or Best Man they thought would disappoint and ended up coming through?