(Closed) Best man…. worst man

posted 10 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2008

You are so clever, it wouldnt occur to me to keep my mouth shut but maybe that is best, just be ready to say ITS OK when the other guy flakes and tell your Fiance it is not his fault. Whatever is going on in the BM’s life (if anything) obviously he’s not sharing!  Maybe he is just a clown who waits till the last minute on things, either way it is inconsiderate, no maybe about it–he is a clown!

Post # 5
Member
36 posts
Newbee

This is a good question! I would carefully and cautiously tell your FI to consider making the other friend his best man, since he has already stepped into the position, and make his flaky best friend a groomsmen but the first behind the Bridesmaid or Best Man.  That way if he flakes no big deal, other than hurt feelings, but your wedding will go on and you wont have to worry about fulfilling the roles.  If he is unresponsive by the time you are one week out I would remove him, if he cares, he will call and recify.  Remind your Fiance that what matters is that you guys will be married and the added stress is not worth it.  They can work out their relationship without the wedding being involved and maybe after he can take time to have a face to face and focus on their heart-to-heart.

Post # 7
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this crap so soon before your wedding! I would just tell your Fiance to call him again and leave a voicemail saying that you want him to feel comfortable at the wedding, and if that means him attending only as a guest, then so be it. Tell him you don’t want to put him in any akward positions regarding work and financially. In that way you’re giving him an opprutinuty out, and not making him feel like he’s letting your Fiance down, ya know?

I had to do that recently with my "best friend" who was going to be one of my BM’s. I was so pissed because it was less than a month and the girl didn’t even have a dress. (She’s full figured, so of course she would have to order AND get fitted!) It makes you feel like you’re not a priority in their life, and like you, everyone knew about this wedding over a year ago! Yes, times are tough, but anyone ever heard of planning ahead!

In the end I approached my friend like so, and she responded that it would save her a pretty penny if she just ousted. (Thanks alot) So, of course I was pissed and disappointed, but also relieved that I didn’t have to worry about her anymore. Peace of mind is so worth it! You don’t want to see this guy up at the alter next to your man! I would be giving him dirty looks and be pissed he was in my wedding party pics!  haha, but that’s me.

Let the guy just be a guest for "his own convienence!" Sounds like FI’s other friend was ment to be his Bridesmaid or Best Man, and fate has a way of working itself out! Let us know how it goes girl!

 

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