(Closed) Best option for moving out of Mom’s house…

posted 7 years ago in Home
  • poll: Which option sounds best?
    Be patient and living with my Mom for as long as it takes to find something to rent in this area. : (1 votes)
    5 %
    Find another job closer to where husband works, where there's more affordable and available to rent : (10 votes)
    50 %
    Rent somewhere near where hubby works and increase my daily commute to 60+ minutes : (9 votes)
    45 %
  • Post # 3
    2433 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Is there a possibility for either of you to pick up a part-time job on the weekends/evenings? I know it isn’t ideal, but it could generate the extra income you need.

    This is really a call on your part – I think you need to sit down together and make a pro and con list for all of your options. You sound pretty miserable with Mom – would your extra 30 minute commute in the morning and evening be worth the reduced stress in your relationship with Darling Husband and her?

    Also, if you’re staying put for a little while longer, definitely take advantage of having reduced living expenses. Save, save, save! We know several couples who have “doubled up” – either with a roommate or family members – but didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to build up their savings. If I were in your situation, I would be thrilled to have the opportunity to save a significant portion of my income.

    Good luck to you!

    Post # 4
    612 posts
    Busy bee

    I have two separate pieces of advice. 1) Move closer to where your husband works to get a nice, affordable place. There’s really no need for your commutes to be “fair”. You’re a team, and sometimes that means one person takes one for the team! My fiancé’s commute is 8 minutes and mine is an hour. But we live in a great house that’s close to our friends and family so I deal with it because I love my job. On the plus side, he gets home before me so he can have dinner ready when I get home! πŸ˜‰

    Secondly, don’t be afraid to take risks and try new jobs that will advance you in pay and experience! It’s easy to stay where you are forever because you like it and it’s comfortable – but that doesn’t mean there aren’t even bigger and better things out there. And if you try something and you don’t like it, then you’ve just learned something new about yourself and expanded your horizons in the process. I’m struggling with this very thing right now and I know that I just need to kick myself in the butt and force myself out of my comfort zone!

    Post # 5
    14568 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    @BrightGreen: right on.  Fair does not always mean “equal”.  If that were the case we’d expect all couple to make the same too to be “fair” but that’s not normally true. I’d just up someone’s commute, or find a new job. I’ve commuted and hour before, you get used to it.

    Post # 6
    1137 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Could you try reaching out to some of the owners of houses for sale and see if they’d be willing to rent to you? With the market being so down, some sellers might jump at the chance. You can cover their mortgage and they can buy themselves some time for the housing market to get better. I would call a realtor who is familiar with your target area and see if that’s an option.

    Post # 7
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Are there any houses for rent? Or would an owner of one of the houses for sale be willing to rent? A good friend of mine realized that his house would be difficult to sell, and had it for sale for over 6 months (i think closer to a year) and opted to rent it. He did say that if he put it up for sale and it sold, teh tenants would have 60 days to get out. My mom inherited a house and didn’t even try to sell it (plus it has some good memories for her). She took her time to rent it out, and has wonderful tenants. 

    I have several friends that are librarians, so I totally understand how hard it is to find jobs in that field (my mom is a librarian at a university – she only briefly looked at other jobs and couldn’t find anything that paid anything near what she makes now). As for the commute, that all depends on what you are comfortable with! I know some people who think 20 minuts is just unbearable for a commute. Mine is about 40-50 miles each way, and I don’t mind it. It is actually about 12-15 miles shorter than it used to be. Plus, for me it’s the perfect amount of time to listen to a whole cd or almost whole. I also listen to lots of NPR. Further, it’s that amount of time each day I can guarantee people won’t bug me! I can’t deal with email or people running into my office (or partner asking stuff, dog barking to be out, tea boiling over, etc). 

    How would you feel about moving in with grandma? I know you mentioned that it wouldn’t be much different than your mom, but is there more space? Would you want to spend moreo time with her?

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