Post # 1
Hi New Brides,
What is your best advice for us Brides-to-Be looking back on your engagement and wedding process?
I wonder what I will think looking back over this process, what I could have and should have done differently. Gone on more dates? Talked to more caterers? Had more maids to help? Been a better budgeter? Not sweat the small stuff?
What do you say?
Thanks for the thoughts from a little nervous and a bit full in the head Bride-to-be
Post # 3
I think the best advice is to make sure that you take time off from the planning process. You need to remember the reason you are planning the wedding and maintain the relationship that you had in the first place. I also think that the details don’t really matter too much. I didn’t really obsess over the details and it really didn’t matter to me because I barely noticed them the day of.
Post # 4
Make decisions that will make you and your Fiance happy not for everybody else.
Also, you’ll always be the one who is most excited about your wedding, don’t be too upset if people around you don’t seem to care as much as you’d like – it’s not their wedding!
On the day of: Have fun. Take time to take pictures – on the moment, you might feel too warm with your dress or just want to go and do something else; but they’re so fun to look at after! You won’t regret it!
And I also second MissASB. Nurture your relationship. Have fun together. Do other stuff than only planning. Remember the big picture: you’re getting married to someone wonderful for you and that’s way more important than your centerpieces or color scheme!
Post # 5
I agree with MissAsB. You have to s tep away from planning once in a while. Even for people who don’t care as much, it’s easy to get consumed with it all. My husband and I took a few day trips before the wedding because we really needed to just step away for a bit. We had rules on the day trips: no wedding talk, and we focused on our lives AFTER the wedding to keep focus that this is all about our future together, not just one day.
One of my biggest regrets is having a longer engagement. We were engaged 14 months, and it was way too long. I could have planned the wedding in six months, and wouldn’t have had as much time to sit around and question every decision I made. By the time the wedding was here, I was really, really sick of it all, and kind of just wanted to get it over with.
Things I don’t regret? Our small wedding party – so much more manageable on the wedding day, and more intimate while getting ready. Hiring our dream photographer. Hiring a DOC (the BEST decision we ever made).
Also, keeping this in mind helped a ton: not everyone will care as much about your wedding as you. My feelinsg would sometimes get hurt in the beginning when people didn’t seem to care about our planning, but then I realized, it’s not their wedding. It’s ours. It’s their job to show up on the day-of and that’s it. We only ever talked about the wedding when people asked, and when opinionated people asked stuff, we gave vague answers to ward off any snarky comments.
Post # 6
Ooooh I totally second Miss Chapstick on the engagement period!! Ours was 14 months too, but if we had to do it again, 6 months would have been plenty enough. We tend to think that a short engagement in too stressful because there’s not enough time, but really, with a long engagement, you still think about it too much, and for a longer time!
Having a very intimate wedding was the best decision we took. We were criticized for it, but it was what we wanted and we’re so glad we were true to ourselves.
Post # 7
We had a long engagement too by necessity not really choice but you don’t really get much done before you are less than a year out from the wedding date.
Post # 8
my advice for the wedding – once it gets there, don’t worry. don’t get wrapped up in what’s going wrong, or that the flowers are the wrong color, or uncle bob getting drunk. because that day is about something much, much bigger.
so enjoy it. no matter what. even if it hails in los angeles and that never ever happens except in some alternate reality in which you’re getting married outdoors. and pours buckets in the craziest freak storm you’ve seen in ages. and your dress turns BLACK from the mud and gutter water you’re flouncing around in. just enjoy it. enjoy it all.
(true story. and i STILL think i had the most perfect wedding ever.)
Post # 9
Go out on dates…keep a Wedding journal or blog…even if it’s for your own sanity. Definitely take a break from planning (my one week turned into nearly a month hiatus) when you are feeling burned out. I recommend premarital counseling and loved it. Also, plan a day or a few time blocks around the wedding or after for friends and family if you have a lot of out of towners. And if at all possible plan for some alone time with hubby…we got a couple’s massage the night before our wedding…just b/c we never did that before.
Post # 10
I totally agree with the advice to spend some time away from wedding planning. Try not to second guess yourself. Get things done aerly that can be done early. I did this for a while and it helped, but I ran out of time on some things. I think the lack of time was do to my condo selling unexpectly fast so I added up completely moving before the wedding versus doing the move after. If help is offered, take it. Try to stick to your budget, you’ll feel better when your not eating ramen after the wedding.
Post # 11
I replied on the other page! I kind of agree that we didnt need such a long engagement b/c i also was just ready for it to be over… but at the same time…. I’m still sad it’s over, it was so much fun and you (maybe) only get to do it once!
Post # 12