Post # 1
I have 3 bridesmaids right now, and 1 more is on the fence (she may or may not be going out of the country for a few years starting the month of our wedding, not sure when she will find out when). None of them know each other, 1 of them I actually haven’t talked to in over 6 months (long story, lots of drama, but she is my cousin and her mother says she still wants to be in the wedding but she hasn’t contacted me?). I don’t really want to or care to take all of them bridesmaid dress shopping because 1). My cousin (who is 14) will probably have to come with her mother (whom I’ve also had serious drama with) and her mother is SO opinionated and her main concern is her daughter being beautiful and probably trying to outshine me and 2). I am not sure what they want to spend. My aunt has already said she hoped they wouldn’t be much (I don’t know what much is to her). There are some dresses I see that I really like but are $200 & up (one even being $250). I really feel bad about making them pay that (though I am not going to ask for certain shoes/jewelry/hair/makeup, not having a bach party, etc). So, I was thinking maybe I should take my maid of honor to look around, and if we find one, tell them the dress we picked out & then let them have the option on where to buy it? So if they could get it cheaper somewhere they can do that (as opposed to paying full price at a bridal store). Thoughts on this? Do most people take all the bridesmaids shopping together & make them order from a specific store? I do want them to wear the same dress.
Post # 2
I would start by asking them their budget. Everything else would be wasting time, if you don’t know what they want to spend.
Post # 4
My mom mentioned in conversation to my aunt that most Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses were $170-200, which she said “ok” to. So, whatever that means. I could definitely find one for $200. Another bridesmaid is my future step sister in law who is 18 & still lives with her parents. I am assuming FI’s parents will be paying for her dress, since she doesn’t have a job & is in school. Should I ask his step mom directly?
Post # 5
ditto above, ask what their budget is
then yes, just take your Maid/Matron of Honor and pick a dress, or pick a designer and a colour and tell them to get whatever dress they want in the length/designer/colour you have selected
Speaking from a many-times-bridesmaid perspective, getting all the BMs together to go shopping is the WORST and I hate it. I would much rather either go 1-on-1 with the bride or just be given instructions to go get my own… too many opinions when everyone goes and it’s annoying
Post # 6
Thank you, that was helpful. I was recently a Bridesmaid or Best Man too and we all went together, it wasn’t bad because we were all friends and weren’t opinionated, but I can see it being different when no one knows each other & things are kind of awkward with my cousin/aunt anyway. I might just do that then since it also gives leeway with the budget.
Post # 7
I only have two in my wedding… and one lives out of town… so I told them to find styles they liked and to share via FB messenger (group message) … I also gave them the option of wearing whatever dress they wanted as long as it was short ( july wedding) and Fuschia… Good Luck…
Post # 8
I do not want my wedding to be a financial burden for anyone. When I talked to my bridesmaids about dresses, we agreed to stay under 200, and ultimately I want them to wear something they feel beautiful in!
Post # 9
Heres what i just did…last week!
I set a realistic budget that I thought my girls would be comfortable with (mine was max $150). I also tried to choose a dress that I loved and suited the style I was going for, but one that would flatter all the girls shapes (they range from XXS to Lg). As much as a big shopping trip would be fun, one of my girls lives out of town and my life is super busy at the moment. I have enough planning with wedding stuff, full home reno and work that I chose to go just me and my sister (MOH), she tried the dress on and looked great in the xxs. I tried it on too becuase I’m a similar shape to the other girls and it worked for me. I let them know that I found the dress and they all went on their own time to try on the dress and purchased! Job accomplished!
My one bridesmaid called the way the dress was purchased underwhelming, she was anticipating getting everyone together to go on a search for a dress to wear. Honestly, taking four people with different oppinions on style and picking out something they all wanted themselves seemed stressful. I do love a good shopping day, but they all look gorg and like the dress I picked so thats all that matters in the end.
Post # 10
Sometimes you can find the dress you/they like on http://www.weddingshoppeinc.com or http://www.chichistyles.com (even if they’re different styles, etc). Both of them have actual brick-and-mortar stores in the US but do a lot of online business. They can order them themselves, and most of the time the prices are cheaper than in the stores. For my wedding my girls used ChiChi Styles, and I could manage the event online and verify the order before submitting to make sure it was all the right info, and tracking was great, and they arrived way earlier than predicted. (Would recommend.) Have heard great things about Wedding Shoppe Inc too, just don’t have personal experience using it!
Post # 11
You all are so nice. Literally every wedding I’ve been in the bride just chose the dress on her own and emailed a link to everyone. There were times where I would have loved to have at least a little input (One wedding comes to mind where the bride chose a $300 dress that I will never wear again.)
I think it’s really nice to ask about budget and style preference first, and to take those into consideration, but I also think it’s okay to make the final decision on your own, or just with your maid of honor.
I did mismatched dresses so it made things really easy, but I know that look isn’t for everyone.