(Closed) Best Way to Say – “No Children”

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you’ve said it perfectly. I’ve seen it written bluntly but yours is nice.

Post # 4
Member
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Maybe something like: “We appreciate everyone wanting to share in our special day, but due to limited space and seating, we ask that no children other than family attend. We thank you for your understanding and hope arrangements can be made that allow you to still attend our big day”.

I think yours is great but you just need something that emphasizes how much you appreciate them not bringing their kids. Butter ’em up!

Post # 5
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think you have to say anything, you simply don’t invite them. 

A pre-emptive message says to me that you think that I am a boor and would bring an univited guest.  Even though in reality, most guest lists have people who in fact are boors, and would bring an univited guest, I would address those people individually, and privately based on their RSVP if the situation arises. 

It’s painting everyone with the same negative brush and rubs me the wrong way.

Post # 6
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree that the best way to “say” it, is to just not invite them. Or, let word of mouth help spread the message.

Post # 7
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee

I think it’s great the way it is.  Honestly, we’ve all read on here a hundred times how not putting someone’s name on the envelope doesn’t do anything to prevent people from thinking their kid is invited.  Being polite but upfront saves hopefully saves yourself the headache of having to reach out to people after they’ve RSVPed with uninvited kids.  Also, since all of the guests who visit the website will see it, that will help with word of mouth.

Post # 8
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Lili316: I think the point is that it isn’t polite to assume the worst of people.  One of the main tenents of etiquette is assuming the best of people. 

By sending a pre-emptive warning, you are assuming that your guests are impolite boors, that need you to tell them not to bring uninvited guests. 

I wouldn’t want to send the message to my guests that I think they won’t do the right thing.  Even if I think they won’t, I don’t want to tell them that. 

If they prove to be impolite, then I can address that.  But I will first extend the courtesy to my guests.

Post # 9
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@milesbella: I think that’s very nicely put. Only you know whether your guests are likely to be offended by the “assumption” that they might do the wrong thing, but my personal experience (and that of many bees, too) is that this is both advisable to communicate clearly and not overly offensive to anyone who is not an etiquette maven.

Post # 10
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@NotYourTypicalBride: I agree with this.  I think what you have is polite, acceptable, and effective.

Post # 11
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

This is what we posted under the FAQ section of our wedding website…

Are children invited?
Unfortunately due to space limitationswe will be having an “adults only” reception. The only children that will be included are those who are part of our wedding party as well as any out of town guests. We hope you understand. If anyone needs assistance in making arrangements for child care, please let us know and we will do our best to assist you.

Post # 12
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think what you have is good–as well as the other suggestions. We are having no children, so underneath the ceremony/reception info on our website I put:

“We look forward to celebrating with all of the special people in our lives, however, due to venue size and safety concerns, we will be hosting an adult only event. We thank you in advance for your understanding.”

And I just left it at that. From experience, even if you don’t include the kids’ names, people will try to bring them.

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