Post # 1
So we’ve talked about joint finances and it seems like that will be easiest, but I’m not sure how to start. He’s talked to his bank about putting me on his accounts when we’re married. Should I keep mine and add him? Should I move banks entirely?
Also, I’m graduating and will be looking for a job or fellowship for the next few months. I’ve arranged for part time employment to cover most of my current expenses (insurance, phone, etc) so he shouldn’t have to “support” me, but I feel wierd merging now when I don’t yet have a contribution that’s even close to his… grrr…
Anyone else faced similar issues? How did you and your Darling Husband tackle it?
Post # 3
This may not work for everyone, but it works for us…
we set up a new bank account in both our names… then each month we each put in the same amount (because we earn a similar amount) and then all the bills / mortages / joint expenses come out of this joint account
Post # 4
If you’re just starting, I’d open a joint bank account in addition to each of you keeping your own personal accounts. Then you can each contribute a set amount each month to the joint account and choose how to spend that money together. My husband and I did that when we were dating and living together and then combined entirely into the joint account (as in, had our paychecks direct deposited THERE, instead of our private accounts) when we got engaged. It was a nice way to ease into it.
FWIW we even picked an entirely new bank for our new account, just so that we felt like it was a totally fresh start for us with no other linked accounts.
Post # 5
Darling Husband and I happened to change banks entirely (mine was local to an area we no longer lived and he didn’t like his), but that certainly isn’t necessary.
Choose one bank that you both like and create accounts with both of your names. Transfer the money from previous accounts into these new accounts.
I honestly found it to be a really easy transistion because we both functioned as we always had when it came to bills, expenses, purchases, etc. The only change was that all the money was in one place instead of two.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
I’m curious about this too… He makes literally 3x what I do and even though I can cover all of my bills independently we need to start figuring out how we’re going to combine! I’d love to hear about what others are doing.
ETA: I’m also curious what everyone did with their independent savings accounts? We each have a nice lump of money in our individual savings accounts. Did you merge those too or keep them separate?
Sorry OP, I hope you don’t mind my threadjacking! I’m just very curious about this!
Post # 7
We just added each other to our bank accounts, but didnt change anything else. We have our separate accounts and bills we each pay, but we view everything in its entirety as our money even if its not sitting in one joint account.
Post # 8
@coyote: No worries! 😀 That information will be helpful too.
Post # 9
We both have seperate savings too…. and then when we need to pay out for something big (ie a wedding! yey!) we each move money over as needed
Post # 10
When we moved in together, we opened a joint bank account and we each distribute the same amount into it every month to cover rent, bills, etc. We also opened a joint savings account and deposit the same amount every month too. I have my own personal account which I am going to put away in a savings or something when we get married… for a house or college for kids later or whatever. But yeah, I don’t want to touch that money for awhile- unless it’s an emergency. I considered moving it into our joint account, but I’ve been working hard to save money and kind of want to start “fresh” with fiance.
Post # 11
We ‘joined’ our accounts right before we got engaged last summer. At first it was very wierd for me and I kept up my old account for a little while. But I’ve slowly moved over to ‘his’ or our account. Right now I’m going to school and not bringing any money in, sometimes I feel a little guilty. It took me a little time to think of it as ‘our’ money. But I’ve been very happy since I got past the whole ‘my’ money and ‘your’ money thing.
Post # 12
@auggiefrog: “Right now I’m going to school and not bringing any money in, sometimes I feel a little guilty. It took me a little time to think of it as ‘our’ money.”
I think this is where I am. We’ve talked about my bills. I have a small remainder of a student loan (leaving it for now since I’m still technically deferred as a student), a car that’s mostly paid for (I’m aggressively paying down now), and the basic bills like insurance and phone. I feel like I need to list them all out in detail just so he’s 100% aware of where the money is going to be going.
Post # 13
We joined all our finances right after we got married. He had been with his bank for a long time so we decided to just put my name on all his accounts, (checking, savings, credit cards), and move all my money there. Now we have one joing checking, one joint savings. The only thing I kept was my credit cards, (just added his name to them and he added my name to his). We don’t have anything that’s separate.
Also he was unemployed when we got married and I never felt like it was a burden on me to “support him.” He’s my husband and I love him and that’s just what you do for the person you love. OP i’m sure your SO won’t feel like you’re a burden on him. I never felt like i was making the money so it was mine to do with as I pleased. I looked at it like a team effort.
Post # 14
The most important thing I think is to not close any account at the beginning.
We started by opening a joint account at my bank. We had a ton of issues, so we closed it (nothing was being billed to it), upgraded his account and added me onto it. We still both have separate accounts at 2 online banks, and I have my old account at my old bank but have slowly been pulling services from them. In the next few years, I can only see myself keeping my Visa with them, and maybe a no fee account if need to keep my visa no-fee.
Post # 15
We’ve been married for a year and a half and are still figuring this out. We opened a joint checking account while we were engaged, to put wedding gifts and things like that into. Prior to that we had no joint accounts, even though we had been living together for months.
For now, we both contribute a small amount to the joint every month and use it sparingly for joint expenses– gifts when we attend a wedding, our cleaning lady, which is a gift to ourselves :), vacations… Otherwise we are splitting expenses the way we always did (vey roughly split by our income differences). I’m going to take time off from work when we have a baby, so I want to figure out a more joint way to do things.
I do have a hard time with the my money/his money thing still. He tells me not to (he makes way more than me), but it’s weird. I’ve been only spending as much as I make for so many years, that now sharing is just a little weird. But once I stop working I really don’t want to feel like I’m spending “his” money. Work in progress…
Post # 16
All we did was make his personal account into a joint, therefore adding my name to it and kept my personal account with only my name on it. We’ll probably keep it that way, using my account as a sort of “savings” account, where I can start putting money away from my income.