(Closed) Best Wedding Tips Now That You're Married

posted 6 years ago in Beehive
Post # 31
Member
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

JenGirl:  love it! That was exactly the deal I made with myself – keep planning/organizing our very DIY wedding up until I sat down for hair and makeup, and then the “fuck it and enjoy myself” phase started. I didn’t let myself care about any little thing that went wrong and just focused on having the best day ever. 

Post # 32
Member
1097 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

love reading this! It’s also a relief to get validation on a lot of things we are doing — hiring a wedding day-of coordinator (seemed like a splurge at the time, but I knew she’d be worth it!), photography was our top priority and what is taking a good chunk of our budget, and my dress is not extravagant and it cost under $300. I am worried I won’t look like a traditional bride, my Fiance won’t be wowed and I’ll look too casual. I’m happy to hear a lot of pp say it doesn’t matter about the dress!

Post # 33
Member
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

SurelyAsTheSunWillRise:  Two things I should not have stressed over or spent big on were my veil and my shoes…only wore the shoes for ceremony and no one saw them anyway. After that I was in flip flops. Veil came off after formal pics and was thrown in the back seat of the car. Lol.

Post # 34
Member
5 posts
Newbee

My biggest tip is to give a list to your photographer the DAY of the wedding of everything you want photos of. I researched my photographer for a long time, I even paid him to travel four hours away for our wedding day. I made sure I e-mailed him to inform him ahead of time all of my DIY things at our wedding that I wanted photos of. Low and behold, I don’t have photos of any of my centerpieces, favors, flowers or card box. I was devesated as I worked for months creating all of this for our Star Wars themed wedding. 

Post # 35
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Watch your posture for pictures!

Things probably will go wrong, but don’t stress, it’s just one day, laugh it off and roll with the punches!

Try to take it all in because it goes by WAY too fast!

Try to take some time to relax before the ceremony. Our ceremony was at 2:30pm, we were done hair/makeup around noon and had a good hour for lunch at my parents house before we had to get dresses on and stuff. We relaxed, flipped on the tv, talked, it was awesome!!! Great way to calm the nerves 🙂

Post # 36
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Most important tip: Never fight with your SO about wedding planning!!! If he doesn’t seem interested that’s OK. Leave him be and take advantage of the fact that you have the freedom to make all the decisions.

Aquaria:  This has been a blessing in disguise! There is very little my Fiance cares about in terms of wedding planning, so I have been making decisions myself and for the most part, loving it!

To all the bees – thanks for the great advice!

Post # 37
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

1. Look to hire a day-of wedding coordinator.  It doesn’t have to be a professional, it can be a friend of a friend or a trusted student you know who’s looking to make some extra money.  But basically it’s super helpful to have someone who can run errands for you the day of and help with the little things.  For instance, I needed someone to clean up the church after the ceremony, make sure the reception space was set up how we wanted, and pick up some cider and donuts.  My MOH’s roommate used to coordinate weddings and while she volunteered to help, we still paid her like $120 to help with those little things.  We also gave her all of our vendor’s phone numbers so that if something went wrong, she could be our POC.  This way you don’t have to worry about a lot of stuff and you don’t have to burden any of your guests (friend, mom, aunt) with extra responsibilities.

I also have some good friends who left the check for the photographer back at the hotel room – 20 minutes away.  Lukcily they had a coordinator who ran back and got the check for them.

2. Don’t stress about the little things.  The vast majority of guests won’t remember your flowers, your centerpieces, escort cards, card box, napkin colors, or uplighting.  But they will remember the food, drinks, music (a DJ can really make or break your wedding), and your attitude.  So if your escort cards aren’t perfect or you don’t have the EXACT flowers you want, don’t worry about it!  Your wedding doesn’t have to look perfect and blog-worthy, but you should make sure you properly host your guests.

3. Add buffer to your timeline.  As PPs have said, everything always takes WAY longer than you expect.  It’s better to wake up earlier and have some extra time later then to be rushing.  

4. The wedding isn’t all about you.  Yes, it is your wedding day, but it’s an important day for your parents, grandparetns, etc. and many families treat them as family events.  So try and be a little flexible and don’t get too caught up in making everything about you and what you want.  Maybe you allow kids when you’d prefer a kid-free wedding or you go with the invitations your Mother-In-Law really likes or you let your dad buy glow sticks or you go with Bridesmaid or Best Man dress option C because it’s what your BMs prefer.  Don’t ruin relationships over stupid things.

5. Along with #2 and #4, make sure you do your best to make your guests comfrotable.  An outdoor wedding in Florida in July is probably not a good idea.  Don’t have a 3 hour long cocktail hour with only alcohol to drink and no food.  And yeah, it’d be super awesome to have your ceremony on top of a mountain, but if your guests have to walk there and there’s no seating, best find somewhere else or have a super private ceremony.  Guests also won’t be happy if you brag about spending $5000 on your dress but have a cash bar (applies mostly to US).  Anyway, you get the idea.  Happy guests = fun wedding.

6. Late night snack!  If you have a longer reception, late night snacks are always awesome.

7. DELEGATE!  You don’t have to do everything yourself so don’t be afraid to ask for help or take up people’s offers to help.  

8. Set aside a few minutes right after your ceremony so that you and your new Darling Husband can spend some time alone.

9. As PPs have said, the day goes by ridiculously fast so remember to stop and enjoy yourself.  Dance, grab a drink, kiss your Darling Husband, hug your grandmother, laugh at your friends’ terrible dancing.

10. Remember, at the end of the day, as long as you are married, your wedding was a success!

11. Don’t go into debt.  Yes, that $5000 dress is PERFECT, but that $1500 that looks similar and is actually within budget will be great too, I promise.

Anyway, good luck!  Weddings are so fun, weeee!!!!!

Post # 38
Member
1210 posts
Bumble bee

This is long, sorry in advance. I just had the most perfect day (nothing went wrong) and I wanted to share what I loved about it with you all!

Things I was glad I did:

– Had hair/makeup come to me. This was so much more relaxing and everyone met at my house beforehand. I got a little extra sleep by not having to travel in the AM.

– Hair/makeup trial. I had one, we made some tweaks, and the day-of, it was perfect and stress-free

– Sweetheart table at the reception. This was great because we pulled up 2 extra chairs and our guests could come say hi while we were eating/resting at the table. It took a lot of the pressure off to say hi to everyone. We had our bridal party seated right behind us at 2 tables (with their dates, which they enjoyed as well)

– Shuttle buses. We loved having one for the wedding party while taking pictures, and many of our guests utilized and commented on the shuttles from the reception to the hotel.

– Mustaches (strange but true). We bought these on Amazon (along with beads, glow sticks, fun sunglasses) and EVERYONE loved them and raved about them after the fact. We had at least 10 people ask us where we got them because they wanted to buy some for a party they were throwing. We brought them out later right before our photogs left, and everyone went crazy over them. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0010W49K4/ref=oh_details_o02_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

– Stayed at our home the night of the wedding. I LOVED coming back to our house. It was so much more relaxed to me than staying at the hotel. No bags to pack, nothing to worry about. Plus we didn’t live together beforehand, so it felt more special coming back together!

– I second the photo list. We made a list of all the shots we wanted, put them in a logical order (so grandma wasn’t standing around for an hour, etc), and most importantly, assigned a family member to be a “wrangler”. My aunt was seriously a godsend and the photos went so much more smoothly with her tracking down people and herding them around. Highly recommend.

– My husband and I took a 10 minute “breather” where we actually went outside of the venue and got some fresh air during dinner. Nobody was with us, we were alone for pretty much the only time all day, and it was so nice to have that time together and reflect.

– Sending out thank you notes immediately. We sent all of ours out within 2 weeks of the wedding. We actually got a lot of emails and FB messages saying how thoughtful our cards were and how nice it was to get something personalized/not generic. We thought about waiting to get photo cards, but based on the positive responses from our guests, I think they really appreciated the handwritten, longer notes we sent out. We also plan to send a photo as our Christmas card 🙂

Things I didn’t care about:

– Touchup lip gloss. I bought mine, and I didn’t touch up once. Whoops.

– Engagement session. We didn’t do one, and the photogs gave us an extra hour at the reception. Worth it, in my opinion, since they made us feel so comfortable during our meet-n-greet.

– Unplugged wedding. We asked our priest to make an announcement, but he forgot. I told my mom it was the only thing I would go Bridezilla over (to see peoples phones shoved in my face) but honestly, I did a big once over of the crowd while walking in, and then I was glued to my beaming soon-to-be husband’s face. It was such a special moment that we felt alone in the crowd. 

 

Things I regret:

– Not being able to spend more time with my guests. The reception really does fly by, and I wish we had done a more formal receiving line. 

– Thats it!! 

Post # 39
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

NauticalDisaster:  Yeah, you work so hard on the wedding, it can be hard to give up that control and just let it all happen, but it really is worth the effort! My DOC made that a lot easier, but, even without a DOC – you make sure that someone other than you is responsible for everything on the day of the wedding and then you just trust them to do their jobs! How many opportunities do you have to get all your friends and family together in the same place? Not many! So you want to enjoy every minute!

Post # 40
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Great tips to follow!!

Post # 41
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

lolot:  I think it’s a solid plan! You need a line in the sand or you just keep checking and adjusting everything all through the wedding day. It’s harder for us DIY brides, but you just have to let it go and enjoy your wedding day!

Post # 42
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Before the wedding: 

LISTS! Write down evey single thing you need /want done in exact detail. Photos, video, decorations whatever it is put it on paper bc you won’t remember /have time to explain it all on the day of. Also timelines- make one, be real and pad  it so you aren’t rushing 

Dont sweat the small stuff- as mentioned no one will remember or care about your card box or escort cards. if it’s a project you love and enjoy go for it but if it even touches the annoying line just go simple. no one will ever talk smack about how your escort card was just so normal but they will notice if you are not speaking to your husband or bridal party or falling asleep at your table bc you were up till 3am making 10000 origami cranes

whatever you plan to DIY cut at least one project out…. Save your time, don’t stress, hire a professional (if you have $$) or delegate 

be realistic – if you have never worn a pair of heels in your life don’t get $1000 6″ jimmy choo just bc you saw them in a magazine. If you never wear makeup or a dress dont get a huge ball gown and an over the top style with extensions….it won’t be you in the end and you will likely be uncomfortable and miserable 

make a just in case plan….flip flops under the table for when your feet hurt, a shawl or cardigan for if it gets chilly etc

think about your guests – things that are cute and pretty are wonderful but if you don’t have food and drinks and seats no one is going to enjoy themselves 

Day of:

let it go and enjoy! set a time that planning ends and just enjoy and go with it. Consciously decide that you won’t let the small things effect your day and you will be happy 

smile and have fun! This is your day and everyone is here because of you – talk to people you don’t see often, thank them for being there, look around and soak it all up! 

Post # 43
Member
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Love this thread they are some good tips thank you for the information

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