Post # 1
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
I was at a friend’s house in high school and his mom was ironing… she said to me:
"whenever you do housework, leave evidence of it out when your husband gets home so he knows you did it, or he will just think that the house runs itself… so when I iron, I leave the shirts hanging out in the living room, and then after he’s been home for a while, I put them away."
I brushed it off and thought it was kind of a bizzare thing to say… I was like, OK crazy lady. But now I do it all the time! For instance, today I mopped, so I left the mop outside of the mop closet. Mr. Peng got home 10 mins ago and the first thing he said was, "Oh! You mopped for Bruce! (His friend coming into town tomorrow)"
If I didn’t do stuff like that (leave the vaccum out if I vaccum, hang shirts in the living room when I iron, etc), just like my friend’s mom said… he’d just assume the house stayed clean on it’s own!
What’s the best wifely advice you’ve gotten?
Post # 3
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery
That is GREAT advise! The best advise I heard was today from Mrs SeaBreeze… she said a man in his 90 told her the key to a happy marriage was having a sense of humor. I thought that was great advise 🙂
Post # 4
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: May 2018 - Hotel Vitale
Ha ha. Love it. My Mother-In-Law said to a good friend once, "Wow, your husband treats you like a Queen." Her response, "That’s because I treat him like a King."
And I think it’s true- I do nice things for Mr. Peep just so he’ll do nice things for me in return!! Three weeks in and it’s working!
Post # 5
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee
That’s good advice!
I read a fable once where whenever the wife was asked to do something, she dropped everything and did it right away. It sounds old-fashioned, but it struck me as a way to show your partner that they are a priority.
So whenever I’m asked to do something small that I could easily procrastinate (getting a drink from the fridge, putting away some food, getting some advil out of the cabinet), I drop everything and do it right away.
At least, I try to… if the tasks is a big one or if I’m working on something critical, I’m not able to. But little things, I hope I’m pretty good at doing right away…
Post # 6
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: May 2018 - Hotel Vitale
Mr. Bee- I just read that to Mr. Peep- and got a good laugh- he *thinks* he does that already!!
Post # 7
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
That’s great advice Mr. Bee! That’s something that def. bothers me… if I ask Mr. Peng to do something (like clear off the table cause its dinner time) and he doesnt do it right away I get irked. But if he says, "I’m paying a bill" or "looking up directions online" or something, then I’m totally ok with it. It just bugs when he says OK and then does it 3 mins later. Maybe I will try to lead by example and do things right away if he asks! I admit to also being a slacker on this front too!
Post # 8
Bee
11826 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
No one ever tries to give me marriage advice! These are all good, though.
Post # 9
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
I have two. I guess they’re more general marriage advice than ‘wifely’.
First came from one of our ‘wish cards’ from the reception. It came from an uncle who has been married for many years. He wrote…
"Be excellent to each other." – I love the sentiment behind that one.
Also, written in a card…
"Don’t be afraid to go to bed angry. Sometimes, it’s just better in the morning."
Post # 10
Bee
1048 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall
Here’s one Mr. Mary Jane actually taught me:
When you’re having a discussion/debate/argument, repeat back your understanding of the last thing the other person said before you say your piece.This way you avoid fighting that’s based on simple misinterpretations.
Really bad example:
Wife: I prefer McDonalds to Burger King.
Husband: Are you saying you don’t like Burger King?
Wife: No, I’m just saying I like McDonalds more – their fries are better.
Husband: Oh, good, because if you didn’t like Burger King, I don’t know how we could keep this marriage together.
We’ve been doing this for months now and I’d say it’s cut our disagreements down by 95%. I’ll say something, then he’ll say "From what I’m hearing, you’re saying ____. I don’t agree because…" Then i have a chance to either correct his misunderstanding, or affirm that did understand me correctly.
Post # 11
Member
6 posts
Newbee
Ha – the best thing I heard was from a friend’s guest book. Apparently the advice read "FIGHT NAKED!"
Post # 12
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
JeniRae – I sometimes think sleeping on it is great medicine too even though all the advice books advise you not to! Sometimes you just realize that the fight is too petty to keep arguing about in the morning…. and you’re glad you didn’t waste your breath trying to resolve it before you went to bed. If the argument is serious, it might not be the best way to go, but typically our arguments are pretty lame and not worth arguing about!
Post # 13
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
It might have been here on wedding bee I read it, in another post, or may not have (I get things mixed up sometimes lol) but someone once said that the advice they were given is that when making dinner, if it’s taking a little longer than expected and hubby is bugging you about when dinner will be ready, just start setting the table and they’ll just assume its almost done and not bug you about it lol
Love the advice about leaving little things out if you did house work though! It’s brilliant
Post # 14
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee
I was at a shower and my cousin got the advice "Always brush your teeth before bed….you never know what might happen." Tee hee!!
Post # 15
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
Heh, I’ve heard fight naked, it works, we’ve done it!
I think one of my favorite ones was from my piano teacher, and it comes in the form of a story…
She and her husband are both concert-level pianists, and are involved in a lot of different performance stuff in our community. She doesn’t like high-level performance, so she performs in a piano club occasionally. He performs with the state symphony. One month, her club performance was the same week as his symphony performance. She cancelled hers because he needed her. At first, I thought that was stupid because why should it all be about him, and why should her performance interfere with his, as they were different days. But he needed her to listen to his last few rehearsals, to be there backstage to calm him down before he went on, without her performance in the back of her mind to distract her, she gave it up gladly. Then I realized that of course her own performance was important to her, but what was more important was HIM. Just him, not whose performance was most important.
And I realized that sometimes being a good wife (or a good spouse, it can go both ways) is sometimes you just give things up, that maybe he could have dealt with it if you didn’t, but you do because you love him and you WANT to give.
Post # 16
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: June 2008 - Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)
Penguin… that is such good advice…
Im soooo doing that from now on!!!
