Post # 76
Two good words of advice:
1. Never do anything one time you’re not willing to do forever. (Good advice for newly weds!)
2. Your job is 100% to look out for his needs, wants and desires. His job is to do the same for you. This way everyone’s needs are met, is looked after, and everyone feels loved.
Post # 78
I got a framed copy of this as a gag gift at my shower – my personal favorite was “remember, his topics of conversation are more important that yours”!
I try not to respond to old threads, but this one keeps reviving – so good advice:
– Love is an action and a choice. Choose every day to love your husband.
– Pick your battles (common, I know, but it really does help).
Maybe the chores one in the OP is why DH never quite “finishes” housework? (He’ll fold the clothes, but leave them in the living room; clear the table, but not put the dishes in the dishwasher; and so on). When we first lived together, we had different schedules, so I did a lot of housework at night after he was asleep – I’m pretty sure he thought elves washed/dried his work clothes and cleaned the kitchen.
Post # 79
OMG I’m so doing this. This is the ONLY thing we ever get into bickering matches over. He always thinks the house cleans itself, until I give him a chore list when I’m gone, then he b*tches how much work there is to do…
Post # 80
I always hated the “don’t go to bed angry” advice
I find even if we go to bed angry, we are still close and even if we don’t start off snuggling sometime in the middle of the night in the deepest of sleep we end up embracing eachother. That physical contact can help right so many wrongs and in the morning after rest and cuddles the fight is never as bad as it was the night before.
Post # 81
Here are 3 of my favourites:
It will never be truly 50-50. Sometimes you will do more and other times he will do more. So instead, make it 100-100 by putting each other first every time. Your needs will still be met, but you will care for each other, instead of caring for yourself. (Paraphrased – from Timothy Keller)
Never complain about your husband to anyone else. Keep your business between the two of you. (Exceptions for things like abuse, of course.) Even if you are mad at him, respect him enough not to air your dirty laundry to your friends, your mother/MIL, and so on – and he must do the same.
Ask “How can I help?” instead of “Here’s what you need to do …..” No one likes to be told what to do, but it feels good to know your partner is there for you, ready and willing to roll up their sleeves.