Post # 1
So… as the title says, my bestfriend told me that he was in love with me. I have known him since highschool (2000). We dated briefly back then and he broke up with me because he was dating someone else before me and I was kind of the “rebound” girl (which I obviously knew). We have always stayed in contact. He is truely my bestfriend. I can talk to him about anything and he gives me advice honestly (including the advice I have asked him about with my current boyfriend). I have always cared about him and I have told him that I loved him (in the past). He will be deploying within the next few weeks, so explained that he had to get this off of his chest before he left for overseas. We both have baggage… he has had two children within the last year and he is suppose to be married today! He thinks that he should call off the wedding, and I dont know what to make of the situation. He obviously shouldn’t go through with the marriage because it will only end badly for him, the kids (including his step son), and his fiancee. Too many ppl would get hurt by this break up if he goes through with it. Not to mention the fact that I’m in a relationship. I know my relationship hasn’t been great, but I dont want to hurt anyone and I have no clue as to what I should do. My life is a mess and I dont know how to crawl out from under it. ANY advice would be well appreciated bees.
Post # 3
Wait, he’s literally supposed to be married today? Well…I mean I guess you can’t do anything until you see what happens with that.
Am I getting that right? Did I miss something?
Post # 4
You have to follow your heart. It seems really easy to say and silly almost but that’s the truth of it. Only you know how you feel and where your heart is. I wish you luck.
Post # 5
@katiedee: No you didn’t miss anything… he is suppose to get married TODAY! I think they are suppose to go to the justice of the peace to get married.
Post # 6
Huh. Ok, well then yeah…you just have to wait and see I think. If he’s married, he’s married. That will be his decision and whether it’s the right one or not, you have to respect it. That’s just my opinion though.
Of course you could always do the dramatic, yelling and banging on the courthouse door to stop the wedding thing. I’ve always wanted to see that in real life. (Er, at a stranger’s wedding).
Post # 7
He needs to make the decision that is best for him and you make the decision for you.
It sucks that people would get hurt, but people would be more hurt in a year or two when it doesnt work out for him/you and there is a marriage involved.
Post # 8
He’s supposed to be married TODAY and this is just coming out now!? I would tread very carefully with this one. Although he may have feelings for you because of your history it could also be very possible that he’s got a case of the cold feet. The days leading up to a wedding can be very stressful. Despite the fact that he is your friend and you might want to support him, I would seriously consider distancing yourself from the situation until he has clearly made up his mind. I would also take into account the fact that you are in a relationship. Whatever you do, don’t make any hasty decisions because it is very hard to live down the label of being a “home wrecker” even when it wasn’t your fault. My best advice to you would be to let things play out and see where it goes from there. If he does get married please don’t pursue this anymore. Although you may need to have a further conversation down the road I would let some time pass.