(Closed) Better off without you?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sweetie, I am sorry you are feeling that way, but I must confess I feel the same way sometimes because the stress of his deployment has my mind wondering if he is safe, injured, or missing when I dont talk to him. I try not to voice my concerns because I dont want to stress him out with what he is doing. On the inside my heart is breaking and there is not one that seems to understand how I feel unless they are in it.

We must remember they chose us to love and propose too and I know it is hard but we have to remember that because we love them and vice versa. I know at some point it will get easier but what we are feeling is hard.

If at anytime you want to PM me we can help each other through the difficult times. 

Post # 4
Member
9083 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I can only relate on being a military bride. My husband deploys more than he is home and it’s such a lonely life.

I have no advice for you, on that front. For me, I literally just said, “This is the life I chose. This is my husband’s career. I need to support him.” and while it blows, I am a good housewife who keeps busy and waits for her husband to come home. I literally just sucked it up and dealt. It doesn’t get any easier, you just get easier with coping.

I wish I had any advice for you.

Post # 6
Member
3108 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@starrynight:  buy those tests at the dollar store! That’s not going to solve any of your isolation issues but maybe save you some cash!

Post # 7
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@starrynight:  Your comment makes me think that maybe you do have bigger self esteem issues as your earlier post said your marriage counsellor told you. Not to say your husband doesn’t have is own issues with how he treats you, but it sounds to me like you’re depressed.

Have you tried meeting new people, doing new things? Are there things you’ve always wanted to try? I know depression prevents people from taking action, but it sounds like you really need some major motivation (aka a kick in the pants!). I’ve had very mild bouts of depression and I find that even when I do a small thing in the right direction I feel more in control and better about myself. Then I start doing a little more and so on.

Post # 8
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

If your perspective is that your lonliness is wearing on your SO….. then you owe it to both of you to STOP being lonely.  Get a full rich life that he ADDS to instead of a life that isn’t complete without him.

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