(Closed) Better term for “honorary” bridesmaid??

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

What about usherettes or personal attendants?

Post # 4
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Instead of asking them to run errands and do things like that for you, without the honor of being bridesmaids, why not just allow them to attend as guests.  Being a guest is an honor as well.  Honestly, I think being a personal attendant isn’t the nicest job.

Post # 6
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would just thank them for their help – no special title.   To me ‘honorary bridesmaid’ doesn’t mean anything.  You’re either a bridesmaid or you aren’t.  

Post # 7
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

My cousins passed out programs. I called them “ceremony attendants.”

Post # 8
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

I’ve been asked to be a personal attendent or a bridal attendent for three weddings of close friends. I’ve never found it as a snobby request, but then again I never minded taking up a role of helping out with anything that might make the bride’s day easier.

Honestly, I think I’d be a little more put-off to be considered an ‘Honorary Bridesmaid,’ because that feels more like you like me, but not enough to ‘make the cut’ of having me stand up with you. Having a totally different title, with some different expectations, was fine. Although at this point, I’d rather have my close friends just tell me they love our friendship, but that their bridal party could only be so big but that they are so excited for me to attend. It’s kind of freeing to just be a guest as well!

I just had another friend ask me to be an attendent if I can make it back for her wedding this summer. Most of all our mutual friends are in the wedding party, but that she would be happy to count me as an attendent because she would be happy to have me around for the behind-the-scenes getting ready stuff too.

It’s good of you to try and find a tactful way to include them. Maybe even just add a special blub on the program saying “A special thanks to X, Y, and Z, for all the help leading up to and on this special day!”

Post # 9
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Kenic315:  I think what you’re doing is really nice. I have a few friends like I’d like to honor in this way also. I’m planning to get them a corsage and give them a special thanks in the program. I’ll refer to them just by name. They won’t have titles, per se.

If I were to call them something though, I’d call them ushers. I know it’s a masculine term, but that’s fine with me.

Post # 10
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Personal Attendants are very common around here and are considered an honored position just like the BMs.

Post # 11
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2013

“Anyway, I’m having my grad school friends hand out programs, help with everything the day of, invite them into the “getting ready room” and take pictures with them.”

Do they actually want to do all those things for you the day of? Did they indicate they wanted to help ahead of time, knowing they are not going to be bridesmaids? If not, it seems like they are getting the worst end of the deal. They don’t have the honor of being a real bridesmaid, but they are going to do all these little favors/tasks for you the day of…doesn’t make sense. 

If they are really close to you, you should either make them bridesmaids or let them enjoy the wedding and be guests. Split handing programs/ushering/other tasks amongst your family – cousins, aunts, etc. – they would probably be happy to do so.

Post # 12
Member
13014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with PPs that it kind of seems like you’re having them run errands/do menial tasks.  I’d honestly be annoyed rather than honored if someone asked me to hand out programs as an “honorary bridesmaid.”  I’d begrudgingly say yes to help a friend, but I wouldn’t be happy about it, and I certainly wouldn’t feel honored. 

Post # 14
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think I would be annoyed at all, I would be honoured to help out if I was asked to be a bridal attendant. I’m sure if they are your friends they will want to be included and I think that is a nice way to include them. There is a long history of having ushers at weddings, I don’t see the difference.

Post # 15
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have a couple friends that I didn’t make Bridesmaids but THEY offered to help me with anything I might need. I also have Family that is basically sponsoring a piece of the wedding (IE Aunt is paying for the invitations, other Aunt is making the cupcakes, other aunt is sewing all sorts of stuff for me) I plan to just put a general Special Thanks to anyone that went above and beyond for us on the programs.

The topic ‘Better term for “honorary” bridesmaid??’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors