- 8 years ago
- Wedding: March 2010
I grew up in a house where stress was not managed well. My mom has always stacked too much on her plate to the point where it is a balancing act trying to figure out how to manage it. When I was in high school I turned to writing to relieve my stress. And even though I was not good at it, I also ran a lot in cross country and long distance track.
I still try to handle my stress with writing but lately I just feel like I’m criticising myself too much and am unable to write like I used to. Also I was at least inspired before to write something besides whining about things going on, but now *zilch* nothing. And as far as running I have been completely unmotivated for a long long time. I tried getting back into running this summer but I just couldn’t get into the groove.
And now I feel like there are times where I need something to fall back on. I’m finding on my nights off that I can’t get myself to get to sleep for hours at a time. I can’t shut my brain off to stop thinking about my “to do” list. And sometimes it makes me so anxious I have to get up out of bed and walk around in circles until I can calm myself down.
I think I suffer from some amount of anxiety at times. I might also struggle from social anxiety but I’m not sure yet. I just know that yesterday when I went to the college for the first time in a long time, all the people being there stressed me out big time.