- 6 years ago
This is my first post on the board and I wanted some advice to see if anyone else had this happen to them as well.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 months, and we are moving in together at the end of June. For the past few months, he has started to make comments about marriage, and in the beginning they were more generic with his statements usually starting with “I” (When I get married, I want…etc.) , but lately he has been using “we” (We should have a beach wedding…Wouldn’t it be fun if we…etc.). We also just came home from a weekend away to attend a friend’s wedding, which naturally brought the topic again, and the whole way home, he made comments about how we could do our own ceremony, right down to the vows we would say. Needless to say, it was fun to bounce ideas off each other, and I tried my best to play along calmly, without seeming too excited or eager.
Later that day when we got home, after he told a friend of his family about the wedding we had just attended, she turned to my boyfriend and asked “So, when are you two getting married?” We both blankly stared at her and nervously chuckled…and I’m pretty sure I could feel my cheeks begin to blush. Kiddingly, I turned to him and said “Yeah, I was actually kinda wondering that myself…” and we all continued to awkwardly chuckle. Others around us groaned and chastised her for putting him on the spot and the woman who asked just said “Well, HE was the one who brought it up!”. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but it was something along the lines of “So, anyway…” I later pulled him aside, and said that I hope what that lady said didn’t freak him out and that I was just kidding and that I’m not expecting anything. He said he knew that, and it was fine, and not to worry about it.
And, for the record, I’m not in a big rush to get married, or even get engaged, but considering he’s the one who keeps bringing it up, I figure it’s not completely out of the realm of possibility over the next couple of years.
So, basically what I’m saying is that we have now moved into that gray area between dating and engagement, where it’s fun to talk about it, and the conversations are rooted in seriousness, but neither of us want to talk about it too seriously, with the fear of scaring the other person away.
How did you handle this fun, yet awkward part of your realtionship?