(Closed) Beware the bridezilla by proxy

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@HonoraryNerd:  YIKES! I’m fairly passive, but my friends must have interacted with too many bridezillas, themselves, because I could hardly get an opinion out of them about which Bridesmaid or Best Man dress they liked better, suggestions for accessories, etc. I’ll be on the lookout, though!

My most bridezilla-ish moment so far has been about the tables- I really wanted to do one long table (it’s a very small wedding) so we would all be eating together (seems more intimate to me), because I think it will be weird having 3 round tables and everyone beong separated (and dinner is like 3 hours, so it’s most of the reception). I’ve given that up, though. Too much hassle trying to communicate my vision across the ocean! I’ve already gotten one of my weird requests (getting married in the cherry tree grove), so I’ll call it a win and move on.

Post # 4
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

well, someone had to take charge :-/ don’t kill the messenger

Post # 5
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@secretwife:  That’s true. We had our hands full already, so my awesome Maid/Matron of Honor was basically in charge of everything, together with my mother. I’m sure there were people who thought they were both a bit OTT but on the other hand, if you’re standing around doing nothing, or getting in the way, or not helping, be prepared to be moved/told what to do/given a job.

That said, it’s usually about the approach. You know, flies…honey…etc.

Post # 6
1010 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

So she was a Moh-zilla, which made me think of Mozilla Firefox, and I smirked. Okay, sometimes my inner geek escapes the cage!

Is it possible she employed the mouthy/bitchy friend as MoH to act as a buffer, because she finds it hard to say no? Let the friend be the ‘bad guy’ so to speak. Not that being a Mohzilla is acceptable, but it’s possible the bride was aware it would happen. 🙁

Post # 7
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@secretwife:  +1.

OP says “couple said what they wanted, she made it happen.” That… actually sounds like… a wedding planner to me? In which case nobody would be calling her a bridezilla by proxy.

Of course, it sounds like the bigger problem may have been the tone the Maid/Matron of Honor used to get things done, rather than the actual gettin’ things done.

Post # 8
1347 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

The bride was probably stressed out and has a hard time saying no to people/telling them what to do, so her friend stepped up and did what needed to be done. 

Post # 9
2468 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Honestly, at the vast majority of weddings I’ve been to, the groomsmen don’t always seem to be super um… ‘with the program,’ so to speak.

At my cousin’s wedding the photographers kept having to get onto the groomsmen because there was limited time for photos and instead of listening, the groomsmen were wise-cracking and horsing around.

So if I were a soft-spoken bride and had an agenda that needed to be carried out, I’d actually probably be really grateful to have a Maid/Matron of Honor who’s willing to be the ‘bad guy’ and make sure everything went smoothly.

Post # 10
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Oh, man! I was a super passive bride, too. No bossy Maid/Matron of Honor, though!

At our wedding all I wanted was to:

1- Get married

2- Wear my awesome dress

3- Get every penny’s worth out of our photog

So I think my only ‘Zilla moment was ignoring our ceremony coordinator when she kept saying “You need to wrap up the photos, you’re running 10 minutes late!”

I definitely didn’t have someone yell at her for me!

Post # 11
4682 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Bridezilla by proxy sounds worse than just plain bridezilla.


Post # 13
634 posts
Busy bee

Warning brides: Your MoH may be awesome and step up into the highly stressful role of day of coordinator so that you can have the wedding of your dreams without stepping out of your comfort zone.



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