(Closed) Beyond livid with my family (vent)

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

Brother sounds like he’s being majorly douchey and selfish. Ahhh… does he expect you to change your whole wedding ceremony so that he can be apart of the wedding party? LOL Obviously that’s not happening. I’m wondering if your brother is always use to getting “his way” with your parents all of the time. He’s demands are ridiculous. There is no reason for you to have to grovel and beg for his @$$ to be in your wedding, he’s your damn brother and your parents in in the wrong in this situation. Why they keep defending him who knows.

Seriously, you should withdraw him from the wedding party. He’s proven that he can’t step up to the plate and certainly doesn’t care about being apart of your big day. Why include him with that kind of attitude? If he wants he can just show up to the reception where there will be no sitting/kneeling/standing. 😛

Post # 4
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

oh man I am sooo sorry!  I could never picture my brother or any other close family member acting so selfish during my wedding!  I don’t understand where people get off making such ridiculous demands for an even t that is not theirs!!

Post # 6
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

That’s ridiculous.  Part of being a groomsman is performing whatever support your marriage requires during the ceremony – if that means they stand there quietly, they stand there quietly.  If it means kneeling a few times, they do it.  You are not doing HIM a favor by asking him to be in the grooms party – he’s supposed to be doing YOU one (your parent’s need to be reminded of this, apparently.)

I’d tell him thanks, but no thanks, and tell my parents where to stick it (but that’s my personality).  Also, no date for him.  Are they kidding?  He doesn’t even have a gf, and this is a demand? What next?  He doesn’t want to wear a suit or tux?  Nip this in the bud, tell them all kindly but VERY firmly that he should probably sit with your parents during the ceremony on your wedding day.  I’m so sorry you have to go through this.

Post # 7
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Wow.  I am sorry he is being this way.  This is your day, and he needs to respect that if he wants to be a part of it. 

I sort of disagree with you about his date though.  I would say immediate family members and bridal party members should get a plus one.  But that is my opinion, and I know realistically it isn’t always possible.

Is there any special role at the reception he could play?  I mean, include him in introductions and wearing a tux or whatever…but just leave him out of the ceremony.  Honestly, if you do it that way, people are going to realize that he is being a donkey about this, and that you did what you could to include him.

 

Post # 8
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

PS – this is not your parent’s day.  This is your day with your husband, and it sounds like an excellent oppertunity to have your brother learn the real world lesson that life does not always go our way.  Esp. when it comes to other people’s weddings.

Post # 10
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

well,it sounds like he is out of the party, if that is the case, he will just have to regret it one day he could not attend his sister’s wedding

 

why would you have to re-arrange your whole wedding because of him,seems extremely childish and unreasonable; looks like he is out,unless you are willing to compromise and delete everything he wants I dont really see that you should do that

 

anyway this day is all about you and your hubby and your marriage not this brother, unfortunately doesnt look like he should come

Post # 11
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

VintageDivine, you couldn’t have phrased it any better. When he graduates college, he’ll get a rude awakening when people won’t put up with his immature, spoiled behavior.

@katiebug – Make it clear to him that you are not changing his responsibilities if he wants to be a groomsmen so either he accepts or he isn’t part of the wedding (regardless of your parents wishes). You know that it’s not possible for you to meet all of his demands. It’s not worth it to bend the rules for him if he can’t play fair or be resonable. This day isn’t about Prince Younger Brother, it’s about you and Fiance. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

That is ridiculous! I would definitely not give into him. I mean, you can’t be a groomsman without actually attending the ceremony right? What does he expect to do during the mass? Asking someone to be a groomsman is an honor, not the beginnings of a negotiation.

Post # 13
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

He is being a major douche – your parents obviously won’t stand up to him, and it is ridiculous.

Who does he think he is making these “demands”? In a wedding, the only one who gets demands are the bride and groom. Period. 

I would release him from the bridal party and not allow him a date. He needs to grow up, and by giving in to his demands you are doing nothing to help the situation.

 

Post # 14
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Tell him to quit being such a brat. It’s your day not his.

If he wants to be in the wedding party knowing it’ll be a full mass – cool, if he doesn’t, don’t stress it – you asked him. I don’t think I’d care about a date but obviously he’s just trying to make you cater to him. If he has to take a religious stand tell him he can just sit with your parents.

Post # 15
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Whatever happened with this? I had a lot to say, but I was wondering if any new developments have occurred before I respond!

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