(Closed) Beyond pissed: RSVP Dodgers

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Thats what Im afraid of. There are tons of threads on here about this very subject. It happens alot. Hope u hear from them all soon! Goos luck.

Post # 4
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Hmm, that’s pretty shitty behaviour for sure!  In all honesty, my gut thought was to just cut them out and inform them that their lack of RSVP was accepted as a negative attendance…but I guess it depends on your relationships.  Any chance your venue will give you an extra few days, you can contact them and tell them that they have until the 7th to RSVP yes or you will be counting them as no’s, and no meals will be available to them?

Sorry, can’t imagine how horrible this must be for you!

Post # 5
2947 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@katie.renee:  I hear you…you’re saying everything I said all week! We had a couple of friends that intentionally avoided us because they didn’t want to hurt our feelings by saying no. 😛 So forcing us to chase you down is better how?

I’m trying not to take it personally now. Easier said than done, but remember that the ones who matter did respond in time and will be happy to celebrate with you.

Post # 6
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

@techie:  couple of friends that intentionally avoided us because they didn’t want to hurt our feelings by saying no. 😛 So forcing us to chase you down is better how?

It’s so sad when people do that…. but WE as the brides have to make the ultimate decision for them. And chasing people down makes us look like idiots, so I would recommend NOT doing that, I would phone them up, and let them know they have chosen “no”by not replying, and no meal is there for them if they do decide to come in the end. The due date has come and went and so has their time to decide, you can’t wait forever!

Post # 8
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Embarassed  I totally thought you were mad at the L.A. Dodgers baseball team for something when I read the title…


And yeah… people who avoid you so they don’t have to give you an RSVP just suck… I’ll be happy if I never have to do an RSVP event again!

Post # 9
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I would call them all one last time and say, the deadline has passed and we need to know exact numbers for the venue set up. If they are still on the fence tell them they have until the next day to decide or you will mark them as not attending. Then if they do show up, there’s no place for them.

On the wedding day, delegate an uncle to play “bouncer” if they show up unannounced. Provide him with a list of the people that declined/didn’t answer so that when they’re fussing over not being on the seating plan he can clearly say, “well no, because you never RSVP’d and were told if you did not by the bride, you would be marked as not attending. We don’t have room for you, sorry”. They can throw a fit,  but in the end, you know you’re in the right having given them every opportunity to be included in your day.

Post # 10
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Definately let them know if they can’t meet the deadline that you will have to assume that it is a no. I think it would be a good idea to step back from the situation and take a deep breath. It is super frustrating and adds a little extra stress, but your guests do have other things going on in their life. Maybe they have to make work arrangements or trying to see if they have enough money to come. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about you or they don’t want to be there, its just hw life is some times.

Post # 12
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Since they are friends (not family) I agree with pp- I woul make one final call to them after the RSVP date has come and gone simply to inform them that the lack of reply indicates that they will not be coming and that you are sorry that they cannot attend but will be you in thought.  I would also add in that if this is a mistake that they should inform you of it within 2 or so days (setan actual date)- just in case they needed a second reminder to ask for the day off at work or something.

After all this, they better not show up.

Post # 13
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I put on my wedding website an eloqent version of if you do not RSVP you will not be accomodated. Also I am having a gues list at the door, if you are not on it you can’t get in! Kind of harsh but not my problem.

Post # 14
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Thankfully I only had 1 “friend” do this to me. I ended up emailing her and telling her that after numerous calls/texts/emails with no response that I was assuming she was not attending and would not beproviding a seat for her at the wedding. Of course I didn’t hear back from her- but I didn’t expect one either.

Post # 15
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@orchid84:  Please share the wording you used!! We’re trying to come up with something now for when this starts to happen to us very soon – right now all we have is a plan to contact all rsvp-dodgers the day after the rsvps are due with a message saying “we’re so sorry you can’t make it”

Post # 16
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@katie.renee:  People like this drove me CRAZY during wedding planning! We put our deadline a month before the wedding and chased people down for the next two weeks. We even had one of my fiance’s cousins make us wait down to the wire for her RSVP because “she was trying to take time off of work” to have tell us she couldn’t (which was fine) only to have her write on Facebook the day before our wedding “how excited she was to have the whole weekend off”. I wanted to kill her lol

I would be done chasing them if I were you! Your wedding is in 13 days!! If they haven’t responded yet, then it’s not your problem to chase them down. Their behavior is so rude at this point, I’m not even sure I’d want them at my wedding. A simple “yes” or “no” isn’t that hard to tell someone .

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