Bf admitted an ex FWB was better in bed.

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
6164 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

No because I would never ask that. 

Post # 3
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Well at least he was being honest…

i guess this is a classic example of “don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to”. I do not think he should have admitted that a past fwb was better in bed, because what good is going to come from that?  I also don’t think you should stress about this. It’s not a contest, and he obviously prefers you overall, hence why she’s in his past. Try not to worry about who is better. It’s about the whole package, not just the sex, and you’ve got that. 

Post # 4
Member
358 posts
Helper bee

Ughhh talking about ex’s is the kiss of death for a relationship!

Post # 6
Member
11303 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
acapelopd :  

Well, at least you know he’s a truth teller.

I’ve had great sex with guys, it’s chemistry, good equipment, my hormones lined up right, Mercury coming out of retrograde, who knows.  That didn’t make any of them better relationship material than Dh.

You have two options.  You can choose to fixate on this, keep bugging your bf about it, make yourself crazy, and potentially ruin a promising relationship.  Or you can say “ouch, that stung” and let it go.

As you get closer as a couple and your sexual connection deepens, if the relationship is a good one, people from the past will feel totally irrelevant.

And as the PP says, stop asking questions if you’re not prepared to hear the answers.  Questions like yours are usually born out of insecurity.  Deal with that head on.  Where is it coming from?

Post # 7
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t ask that kind of stuff, unless you’re one of those super confident people who can handle the answers! xo

Post # 8
Member
5046 posts
Bee Keeper

Just because you CAN talk about anything doesn’t mean you SHOULD.

He was honest.  Let it be a lesson to not ask questions you don’t really want the answer to.  It is one thing to ask what would make him happier with your sex life – it is another to ask him rank his sexual partners and directly compare you.  So, do what you gotta do to improve your self-esteem and insecurity issues – whether it is taking up am empowering hobby, getting therapy, or checking out a self- help book or two.  At some point in the future, when you can make it about wanting to improve your partnership rather than soothing your bruised and insecure ego, you can discuss what you mutually would like from your sex life.  You may have to learn to live with the fact that you may never be the “best sex”, but you may be the best partner and that doesn’t mean he finds sex with you unenjoyable.

Post # 9
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
acapelopd :  To your last question:  No, because I would never ask a question like that because 1) I don’t want to know the answer and 2) that is personal between him and that girl.

Don’t ask him again why it was better or what you can do to improve as you will come as needy and insecure.

Post # 10
Member
13611 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I don’t care that you shouldn’t have asked. He’s an idiot for answering. That kind of honesty is just brutal and hurtful. 

Post # 11
Member
10605 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Being good in bed isn’t everything and it’s all subjective. Maybe his ex was the best because she was into anal play and scat  and that’s what he’s judging it on. Some people just connect better on a sexual level than others.

For the record I would NOT ask him how he’s deciding who was best. Just don’t. Learn your lesson and move on. 

Post # 12
Member
772 posts
Busy bee

 

This relationship is too new. Only 2 weeks. Get rid of him and move on. He needs to know as an ADULT that him telling his current gf that his old FWB was better than her in bed is the dumbest thing he can say to talk himself out of intimacy altogether. White lies are invented for a reason. 

Post # 14
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

View original reply
weddingmaven :  I agree with this.

And personally, there’s no question I won’t ask. If I’m worried about the answer, I feel an urgency to ask all the more. 

Post # 15
Member
271 posts
Helper bee

What an idiot (him). Well, at least you know he tells the truth. With that said…

The reason he thinks she’s better could just be something as simple as he enjoyed her breast implants. Either way, that’s her, not you, don’t worry about it. He was FWB and he’s dating you. Sex usually gets better with time so it is also very possible you will surpass her. She did sleep with him longer than you’ve been sleeping with him as of now. She might have learned a trick or two that worked for him, which I’m sure you will as well and again, will surpass. 

It’s rare for every boyfriend you’re with to be the best you’ve ever had in the beginning of a relationship. Just call him an idiot, be your hot self and enjoy!

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