Post # 1
Ladies who have gone through a bad break up- how do you get through the work day and lonely nights?
I’m at work right now and I’m just a zombie. I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to, no matter how many girlfriends I talk to. Going back to my apt after work is even worse. Even if I workout or go out to dinner with a friend to “keep myself busy,” I lay in bed after and basically cry myself to sleep.
<br />How can I learn to not care?? I’m so sick of checking my phone at work every 5 minutes to see that he hasn’t texted me. I even tried turning my phone off for all 9 hours of the work day, but felt worse when there were no messages from him when I turned it back on.
<br />I’m sad at work. Sad at home. Sad even when I’m out partying. Sad EVERY TIME I look at my phone.
<br />How can I be one of those girls who just doesn’t give a sh!t?
Post # 2
This is fresh…. it’s going to happen. You’ll have to ride it out. Watch funny movies, eat your favorite food, and try your best to forget. Maybe keep your phone turned off when you’re home alone? Go for walks, go get ice cream or your favorite hot drink from a coffee shop. Concentrate on the little things that are pleasant. Treat yourself.
After a few weeks, you should start feeling better. You will learn how to operate again.
Best of luck, darling.
Post # 3
kerplunk00: Keep yourself busy. Work out, have a good time, go out with friends. That’s what I always did after break ups and it made it easier. Not to mention… it’ll drive him crazying seeing you having a good time without him
Post # 4
I know that feeling too well. You just have towab on friends. Take it day by day. Just know every day you’re getting stronger. The hours will turn into day. Then to weeks. Then to months. You’re doing really well. try to stay busy. I read the book it’s called a break up cause it’s broken. It’s honest and made me laugh a bit through the tears. If you canplan a girls vacation out of the country it could help. Either way. Read that book. Hugs!
Post # 5
Give yourself a couple weeks to fully grieve. Get all the crying out, lay in bed, mourn your relationship ending. But, give yourself a day when you are going to go out and conquer this feeling! I promise there will come a point in time where you realize you are not sad as often and dont think about it as much. Know that you will be ok. I promise.
Post # 6
kerplunk00: IDK for me, even though the breakup was a good thing and i dont regret it ever- they are hard! What I did was I texted a friend whenever i felt lonely lol, and not gonna lie..best way to get over some one is under someone else. 😉 Take some time to be single of course but maybe a nice distraction could help.
Or maybe pick up a new hobby/ join a sports league.. you’ll be meeting new people and getting a nice outlet for any negative energy
Post # 7
kerplunk00: Trust me, the girls who dont “give a shit” are either liars or weren’t truly invested in the relationship in the first place! Of course you care. Of course you’re upset. This is all normal (and even good) to grieve over your lost relationship.
My advice would be – give yourself 2 weeks. Two weeks to cry, pout, be upset, eat ice cream in your pajamas, cry yourself to sleep, etc. It WILL get better. I promise. After those two weeks, start trying to pull yourself together.
Delete his number. Do NOT contact him.
Post # 8
kerplunk00: Don’t force yourself to stop thinking about him – you actually end up thinking about him even more that way. Depending on how long you were with this guy.. it may take weeks or months? Took me 2 months toget over a 3 year relationship. That’s also around the same time I (and others) noticed the workouts were paying off, and I felt much more comfortable being single.
You’d be surprised at what “alone time” does for you. Massages, concerts, vacations, doing stuff you like to do! If I weren’t engaged right now, I’d be traveling the world 🙂
Post # 9
kerplunk00: You can’t be expected not to care, you’re human. You have to heal. First off, I always stand by the recommendation of NO contact. Do not text him, do not expect him to text you, block him (and any of his friends, even) on facebook and absolutely do not facebook stalk him. If you don’t have the expectation that he is going to contact you, then you won’t be as let down when it doesn’t happen.
I always like to use the analogy of a physical wound (really, a break up is an emotional wound). The best way to heal a physical wound is to bandage it and let it heal on it’s own. If you keep picking at it, it is only going to take that much longer to heal. So, let it be, let yourself heal. If you start moping, start doing something else that occupies your mind. Don’t let yourself wallow in self-pity. Know that everyday gets a little easier than the last. I know that it is hard to go out and have fun right now, but put a bandaid on that emotional wound and fake it until you actually do feel better. Hell, try online dating, at the very least it’s entertainment and a confidence boost, even if you don’t want to date anyone.
Post # 10
If I can give you one piece of advice is Delete his number, delete him off Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Everything. It helps avoid the temptation to snoop.
2 years ago I was going through a bad break up. My friend was dating a piece of shit boyfriend who cheated on her constantly and she took him back. They broke up again a year later the same reasons and she took him back. This year for New Year’s resolutionis to break up with him for good again. Again. Now myself and another friend of hers just got engaged. And she would totally be close or engaged if she stood firm and didn’t take that douchehole back (She’s a 10 he’s a 3 at his best). stay strong!
Post # 11
Whever I went through a break up, I would write a list of everything that bothered me about the person. It was really therapeutic, and I would read over the list whenever I would start to romanticize the relationship.
Post # 12
Go on some dates. Seriously. It will open your eyes to the fact that there are still many options out there for you. It doesn’t mean you have to DATE anyone, but just get out of the house with a nice looking guy and enjoy his company.
Post # 13
I have been through a breakup a few years back where I felt exactly like how you described. Surround yourself by friends and family – I found I had to pretend I was having fun, kind of like the saying fake it until you make it! Until one day I actually started to enjoy my life again. It does take time but after time it definitely gets better.
Post # 14
Unfortunately, it’s just one stage of many that you’ll probably go through. It sucks, but make the most of it. Reflect on what happened, reflect on your part, reflect on his. What have you learned? What do you want in the future?
Do things that you enjoy, try something new. You’ll have to recreate some new habits to avoid checking your phone all the time. Remember you’re still a person, you still have an identity, you’re still an amazing woman!
Don’t ignore the breakup, don’t live in the past. Soak it in and turn it into a learning experience that can benefit your tomorrow.
Post # 15
kerplunk00: Trust me even those girls who don’t seem to give a shit, *do* give a shit. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I know how much it sucks and how hard it can be to cope. Unfortunately the only thing that really makes it better is time. So just know, that this will pass. Until then do your best to keep yourself distracted. Maybe try a new hobby in addition to spending time with your girlfriends and family? Good luck, *hugs*