(Closed) BF had commitment issues in college- Does this mean he won't propose?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 4
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think most men have committment issues at that age!  It sounds like your SO is on the right track now though.  I would think he’s done some growing since then.  I wouldn’t worry too much about it.  From what I’ve heard about my Darling Husband in his younger years, he had major committment phobia!

Post # 6
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

What’s his timeline if you don’t mind me asking?

Post # 8
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I think his reluctance to “officially” do anything has nothing to do with his commitment.  Some guys are just more informal and don’t need titles to confirm anything or have an actual talk/event for something to happen, like asking you to move in if you guys are already living together per se.  And Facebook is Facebook.  I’ve been with my SO for over a year and I only added a relationship status about a few weeks ago.  I think it’s good that he gave you a timeline so I wouldn’t worry about his commitment!


Post # 10
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@pictureaccount:  It’s totally understandable that he wants to be financially secure before he pops the question – most men do. 

Do you believe him when he says he has every intention of proposing?  Or is your gut telling you you’re not sure that he thinks that you’re the one?

Post # 11
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

It sounds like you two aren’t very good at communicating, frankly, and that’s not a good thing.

It sounds as though you do a lot of guessing and inferring and reading into what he is doing. Which is not a healthy way to enter a marriage. You guys need to figure out how to talk more directly with one another if you want to move forward. If you can’t even ask him if he plans to actually ask you to marry him…not a great sign.

Post # 14
4476 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

It sounds like he’s grown up a lot since then.  He’s given you an engagement timeline.  I wouldn’t worry about him not committing unless the engagement timeline passes and it doesn’t happen.

Post # 15
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My Fiance never officially asked me to be his girlfriend…I only found out he thought of me as his girlfriend when he “broke up” with me because he said he wasn’t ready to have a girlfriend and be in a committed relationship.  We got back together and broke up again for the same reasons.  The third time, I was done, but he somehow convinced me to give him one more chance and we’ve been happily together ever since.  I never asked him to move in with me, he just kind stayed over a lot and ended up never leaving, eventually, we both moved and got a place together. 

People change…plus, it’s always been kind of weird (for most people I know) to officially ask “Will you be my gf/bf?” It just seems so elementary school like “check yes or no.” lol Throughout most of my relationships, as well as my friends, we found out whenever the guy introduced us to someone. “This is my Girlfriend, …” OR we’d grill them both until they finally say outloud that they’re official. LOL

If he’s talking about it openly and comfortably, then he’s been thinking about it, and I’m sure he’ll ask when he’s ready! 🙂 

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