- 5 years ago
My boyfriend and I met in college and we have been together for four and a half years. He wanted to be exclusive eary on, but never directly said it- I only knew this because he spent all his time with me, and never even flirted with other girls. However, it took him FOREVER to actually call me his girlfriend. He also wouldn’t change his Facebook status, even though all his pictures made it clear he had a girlfriend. (He still has no relationship status, although neither do I)
Also, we were long distance for 2 years. During that time, we broke up twice- the second time, it was because he wasn’t ready to think about marriage (he was 22 at the time), and he felt that he needed to be single again before he could start talking about marriage- plus I guess long distance is stressful. He did hook up with someone else during the break, but to be fair, so did I.
When I finally moved out to his city, the intention was for me to get my own place, but stay with him until I found something. We wound up getting very comfortable together, and he casually suggested I stay, but I never recall him officially asking me to move in- yesterday he joked that I just “never left” and that’s the only reason we live together. He thuoght it was funny- I really didn’t. lol
Anyway, that was 2 years ago- and now I am very happy with him. We have a lovely home together, spend time together, have a great sex life and always tell each other we love each other. He has become very comfortable talking about marriage, and even discusses specifics of the wedding, like his groom party. He also gave me a reasonable timeline for getting engaged. However, I can’t help but think it’s just impossible for him to ASK me anything, so I can’t picture him proposing. After all, he never ASKED me to be his girlfriend or move in with him….it just sort of “happened”. I know he had so many issues with making commitment decisions early on, but to be fair, that was when he was very young. Does that have any bearing on the future? I asked him and he said he is much more mature now, and that every man is commitment-phobic in his early 20s. But I can’t help but think that his reluctance to make me his girlfriend almost 5 years ago means that deep down, he never considered me that great of a catch.
Please tell me I’m crazy! I just hope his behavior in college will not reflect his behavior as a man in his mid-late twenties.