Post # 1
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
My bf ,few friends and some family members went out on a Saturday night and got drunk . I passed out a bit early and he stood up with my cousin. A week later my sister told me about the situation not my cousin. He was persistent on drinking and smoking with her after she claimed that she was feeling uncomfortable because he was rubbing shoulders and getting to close ..put his arm across her leg etc…she finally said she was going to bed and then he went to bed after all that….. I comfort ed my cousin and him. She tokd.me the exact same thing my sister told me …he denied everything and said he would never do that to me. But he has a history of blacking out. Now I feel crappie cause he basically was hitting on my cousin. She’s been a very close cousin of mine and wouldn’t do anything bad towards me. She Apologiced for not telling me sooner but excused HIs actions as being toon drunk…
Now I kinda avoid family events cause it’s ackward. Now I feel like there’s sometlots type of attraction. He says otherwise but as a women that’s how I feel. I don’t how to get over this bump in our relationship .. he knowsaid it bothered me and was willing to talk to my cousin to kill the awkwardness but to me it still doesn’t take away the fact u hit on myour cousin while I was asleep. Feeling a little betrayed and unpretty ..I just don’t what to do or think
Post # 2
Member
6240 posts
Bee Keeper
This and ‘history of blacking out’. do you think they sound like traits of a nice boyfriend?
Post # 3
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
jbabb : He’s not interested in your cousin particularly but he has a drinking problem. Until he successfully stops drinking of his own volition which will probably be a major lifestyle change of avoiding parties and bars, this relationship cannot end well. Stop feeling unpretty and ditch your SO for the freedom to date and find a non addicted man!
Post # 4
Member
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
‘blacking out’ is unconsiousness, you cant flirt while unconsious
Post # 5
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
Blacking out is memory loss in this case unfortunately.
I think he needs help with his alcohol problem, but I don’t think he’s necessarily interested in your cousin. At all. I wouldn’t suggest ditching him, rather helping him through his obvious addiction problem!
Post # 6
Member
5409 posts
Bee Keeper
jbabb : So he has a “history of blacking out”? Blacking out means you are UNCONSCIOUS therefore you cannot rub anyone’s shoulders, put your arms across someoneone’s legs or just plain flirting with anybody!
Post # 7
Member
1188 posts
Bumble bee
No PPs, being unconscious is PASSING out. Blacking out means you are still conscious and functioning, but you can’t remember any of it the next day. It happened to me a few times in my younger years, before I learned my limits with different strengths of alcohol.
In fact, sometimes I couldn’t even remember things 5 minutes after they happened.
However, that’s no excuse at all. Even when I blacked out I never did anything harmful. And if he’s older than 23 or so, shouldn’t be drinking until he blacks out anymore.
Post # 8
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Do you want a bf who you can’t trust every time he gets drunk?
Post # 9
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
jbabb : Maybe I missed this in your post but how often does he drink? In my younger days I drank quite often and blacked out, however I never considered myself as an alcoholic since it only happened once every few months.
KhaleesiStormborn : YES! That’s exactly what blacking out is!
Post # 10
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: September 2016 - Beck Rec center
Girl run like you ass is on fire and don’t look back
Post # 11
Member
2909 posts
Sugar bee
jbabb : 1. I don’t think him talking to your cousin would help at all, it would just be putting her in yet another situation where he made her feel uncomfortable and that seems wrong to me. I mean, what’s he going to do, try to convince her that it didn’t happen the way she remembers it? You know what happened; your sister and your cousin both relayed the same info to you, and he was so drunk that he doesn’t know WHAT happened. 2. If it were me, I’d call it off. He drinks too much, behaves inappropriately with other women, then forgets/denies that he did it, and there’s no reason to think that’s going to change.
Post # 12
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee
I agree that he’s probably not interested in your cousin specifically, but is displaying poor behavior because of alcohol use. Frankly, if you’re seeing it now, then you know what you’ll get in the future. Unless he goes to rehab and is in the very small percentage of people who can remain sober for the rest of their lives, you’re going to be dealing with this longterm. You have to decide what you’re comfortable with, but I personally would not be comfortable being with someone who displays this behavior.
Post # 13
Member
3028 posts
Sugar bee
Call it quits. Nothing else.
Post # 14
Member
6379 posts
Bee Keeper
btob17 : socalgirl1689 : I think you two should look up what blacking out means.
https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=blacking%20out%20from%20drinking
It means during this time new memories cannot be formed, not that one is physically unconscious.
Post # 15
Member
5409 posts
Bee Keeper
pinkcorsage : I looked it up and it could mean EITHER temporary memory loss OR loss of consciousness (syncopal episode) due to vascular or neurological origin. If you sent the link via Wikipedia Blackout as it is appearing when I click on your link, at the bottom sentence, it also states that, “The term ‘blackout’ can also refer to complete loss of consciousness or syncope” not only memory loss. You should also read carefully the links you send before calling people out. It is not clarified which ”blackout” definition was meant from the original post but whatever happened and going back to the main point of this post, it’s still shitty behavior.
Reference:
Healthgrades, INC (Blackouts)