(Closed) BF is still nagging me about living together!

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
4544 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you’re uncomfortable, don’t do it! Of course different things work for different people. Fiance and I moved in together after 2 months and got engaged a year later. But if you’re feeling like you don’t want to live together until you’re engaged, then don’t let him pressure you!

Post # 33
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@VikingPrincess, my Fiance did the same thing!! On our 1 year anniversarry, he asked if he could move in and I said I’d love to live with you, but not without a ring on my finger. He kept pushing and pushing and promising we’d be engaged within a couple months of living together he just had to save so I finally gave in. After 3 months and no ring and NO TALK of a proposal, I asked him what was going on. He said he still wasn’t sure and needed more time, to which I responded he had 2 weeks to find a new place and we can reevaluate from there. I had a ring on my finger 2 weeks later.

But seriously, stick up for what is important to you! Some girls don’t really care if a ring is on it’s way (yeah, right!) and most of us who are being honest actually care A LOT! So I would definitely make sure he understands this and respects what is important to YOU.

But of course, living together has been the best thing in the world (after the ring, of course!). It’s like floating on a stress free cloud, I am living with my best friend! 🙂

Post # 34
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think you ultimately have to do what makes you comfortable. If you don’t feel comfortable moving in without a ring, then don’t. But do find out why he wants you to move in before he proposes. Maybe he does want to see if you can live together first.

For me, it makes total sense to live with the boy before we get married. I did live with an ex for a year (and some roomates) and it totally made me realise that he wasn’t the right person for me. Everyone has their little habits and his were something I definately couldn’t live with!

My boy and I right from the start have been a perfect match living together. It isn’t always perfect – he doesn’t do quite as much housework as I would like, but he senses when I have had a bad day and always makes me feel better. For us, living together first is a financial issue. We don’t have a lot of money, and it was important to set our future up properly first. But I do know I have to be very patient for the ring – I still have NO idea when he wil propose. But, from my own perspective I am fine with that because I know it is coming and I know that we are suited to living together.

 

Post # 35
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m thinking along the same lines as ChiCat – why would a proposal be FASTER if you moved in together first? Doesn’t make a lick of sense to me. I agree that it seems like he is dangling the proposal like a carrot to make you cave in to living with him. The fact that you have made yourself clear and he keeps pressing the issue is also very disrespectful on his part.

I would ask him, straight up, why moving in together makes a proposal come faster. I hope everything works out for you! I can understand your frustration.

Post # 36
Member
30 posts
Newbee

I don’t advise moving in before being engaged. I tried it once to a guy who talked about marriage more than I did. However, if I would have never moved in with him, I wouldn’t have known how awful our “marriage” would have been. A close friend of mine experienced the same situation…

 

However, from your first post Viking Princes it sounds like your SO is planning to propose soon. Is one of your leases up soon or some other obvious reason it would make sense to move in together before the official engagement? If this is the case then I understand your SO.

 

I advise you to tell him that you love him dearly and wish to spend the rest of your life with him, but you do not agree with moving in together before an official engagement. Tell your SO that the only thing he could say or do to get you to move in is “will you marry me” and showing you a ring. Be calm, sweet, and FIRM. Hold fast to this decision and yuu will have your ring and he will have the two of you moving in in no time at all.

 

GOOD LUCK!!

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