I haven’t read the other poster’s comments – but I was literally in the same situation as you but with a few differences:
I was with the guy and he already had a 1 year old with his baby mama. 2 months in he finds out she’s pregnant (conceived before we dated). She also had issues – Endo and PCOS and the idiots didn’t realize if they can concieve one they can another. I stayed. WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE.
He is going to have a newborn and your life will be thrown into being a stepmom to a newborn. Trust me, this is soooooo hard. Eseentially you will be living the life as a new mom without being the mother (that’s if the baby stays with you weekends or whatever). Then he will be constantly with her for doctor’s appointments and of course for all the firsts and be in constant communication with her.
It’s great he wants to be there and support his child, but the amount of stress and it’s 100% going to change your relationship. You will no longer be a priority and this child will be (as it should be).
Then if he’s over there with her – he has a history with her. The history he told you may not be true. You will always be left wondering what is going on if he’s there alone with her.
In my situation – when my ex was over with his baby mama ‘for the kids’, half the time he was cheating.
2 years later the baby mama is pregnant again with a 3rd – she thought it was her boyfriends at the time. Baby is born and 5 months later, her and the boyfriend breakup and he asked for a paternity test and it WASN’T HIS. Guess who the father was? Yup! It was my ex’s. He knew for 2 days, and when I came home to my apartment (he was living there), all his stuff was gone and he left (thank goodness).
It’s only 8 months, and you may love him but you are setting yourself up for a lot of unecessary stress and worry and turmoil.
I am also child free by choice and thought I could handle it but I couldn’t.
You are also still young and can find someone who doesn’t have these issues and who you will love and be happy with and even get married to.
It may hurt initially but trust me, you will be better off. I was hurt but then reality set in and it was such a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders and I am thankful that relationship ended.