(Closed) BF “My female friends think engagement rings are a waste of money”

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@jackndiane: “Am I overanalyzing his comments?”


Yes you are. My guy thinks the same thing. Did I get the ring? Yes. Did he spend good money? Yes.

Post # 4
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@jackndiane:  I’d take him at his word unless he brings it up again.

You asked point blank if he had a problem and he said he didn’t.  If he’s got more to say on the subject the ball is in his court. 

Post # 5
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think your guy was in all honesty just making conversation at work- and then relayed other people’s opinions on the subject to you. Since there is such a huge pressure on guys and getting their girl a “decent” ring (whatever that is supposed to mean), it might have been new for him to speak to people who didn’t place a high value on the ring.

Post # 6
7522 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

From what you reported of the conversation, I would not worry about it.  He is most likely just repeating what they told him- not implying he thinks the same way.

Post # 7
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree with the other bees that you’re overanalyzing a bit. Maybe he’s actually trying to “trick” you or make you think he’s not into getting a ring because he already has one and is proposing soon? I’ve heard of guys doing similar things before.

Post # 9
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you are overanalyzing. He was probably surprised to hear that from women, and thought it would be interesting to bring up.

(and, although I love my ring, I do agree that they are an expensive illiquid investment whose budget could be much better spent in retirement investments, emergency funds, home down payments, etc for nearly every single person who purchases one. But I’m still happy I have it 🙂 ).

Post # 10
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am one of those women that never wanted an e-rings and told my Fiance I would rather have a more expensive wedding band and put the rest of the money into something else, and I do know many women who I work with who have engagement rings but after a few years of marriage only wear their wedding band, so I do understand his co-workers…  but just because he repeated it to you doesnt mean he resents having to buy you a ring.

Post # 11
272 posts
Helper bee

I think you have a right to be upset.  Sometimes the advice of female friends can count more for guys than what we have to say, and just because the friends say they are satisfied with having an inexpensive band doesn’t mean that’s what you want. Would you feel engaged without an engagement ring?  I have been in that situation once in the past and it was awful.  I’m hella glad I didn’t follow through with that engagement, and my boyfriend who I’ve been with for 2 years has known all along that I want an engagement ring.  My father felt like it wasn’t real before and in my opinion it really wasn’t.  He is supportive that I should have a real ring to be really engaged.   

Post # 13
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Given what you mention of your situation, it seems like he’s just making conversation.  At most maybe he’s checking that your desire to wear a ring comes from personal desire rather than just feeling like it’s the thing to do, but since you’ve provided him with an heirloom diamond, it wouldn’t make sense that he’s hinting that he doesn’t want to buy you a ring.

I think you’re overanalyzing.  Everybody does it, but there’s really no sign here that he meant anything by it.

Post # 14
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

1) I think he was just making conversation because those girls opinions are so far outside the norm of what most guys here about engagement rings

2) It sounds to me like the first girl is probably managing their expectations based on her own financial situations.I bet if that girl was given a beautiful, traditional diamond engagement ring, she’d be over the moon. 

3) It’s true that many married women choose only to wear their wedding bands day to day, but I bet when she gets dressed up for a nice evening out, she slips on her diamond engagement ring for added bling and it makes her feel special, just like yours will, whether you wear it everyday or every once and a while.

Post # 15
5371 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

@Entangled: I second that! (:

Post # 16
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

If he isn’t asking for the ring back, then I wouldn’t worry about.  Maybe he does think it was a waste of money that could have been spent elsewhere…tooooo late now!  You have the ring, so he’ll have to just be good with it. 

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