(Closed) Bf not ready

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@gramgeek: Hi and welcome to the Bee! It sounds like hes not ready just yet but has thought about it which is great! My Boyfriend or Best Friend was in the same place about 12 months ago.  We would talk about our future all the time but bring up the M word or W word and he would clam up.  One night I confronted him about it (mind you we had just bought a house together!) and he said that he just wasnt ready yet but knew that I was the one and it would happen soon (soon is a very subjective term that they use to put us off!!).

But good on your for bringing it up and setting a timeline of where you want to be! So you know that he plans to be married in 2-3 years then thats great! At least youve made your intentions clear now let him think it over and see what happens!

Good luck!

Post # 4
797 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I totally understand how you feel about not wanting to waste time with someone only to find out x number of years later it ain’t gonna work.  But maybe he was mumbling about later years for the wedding because he hadn’t really thought of it much?  My understanding is that men don’t sit around dreaming about being engaged and their wedding day, etc.  He stated before that he’s serious about you, so maybe he just got comfy and needs a reminder that an engagement is expected from a serious relationship.  I could be completely off base here, but that’s just my two cents.

Post # 5
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I think “soon” is a word men use to refer to a geological time-scale – ie. millions of years.Undecided

Post # 6
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Isilme: Ha! So true!  I assumed “soon” meant months… and it did, just more than 12. 

Post # 7
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@gramgeek: I’m not sure why a 30-year-old man would need until 2012 (three years) to decide to get married. I guess it doesn’t matter so much if you don’t want children, but if you do want a few children of your own you might need to seriously consider whether you’re willing to wait that long…..especially if you’re prone to attracting commitmentphobes (like I was.)

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