- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2017
He’s just making excuses not to commit to you. Basically telling you to shut up and stop bugging him about it. Until when/IF he ever chooses to bestow the great honor of proposing! There’s no impetus as he evidently already has all he wants relationship wise…and what you want is not important to him. Yeah, I myself would never put up with that…. But …he obviously believes you will…
I would’ve felt exactly the same as you regarding the Christmas stayover. You don’t wanna stay over, fine, speak up and say so ffs. Don’t let me anticipate and plan for it- did he not think you’d be making the apartment cozy and festive for the holidays, getting in extra food/drinks, planning his favourite meals??? It’s a far bigger blow to let you down so unexpectedly at the last minute.
Sorry to get sidelined OP- but if you can relate to these conflict avoidance issues, that may be part of your SO’s issues that he needs to deal with. You can’t solve life’s problems together unless he’s willing to have honest, sometimes difficult conversations and needs to know that, even if he worries you’ll be mad or upset at what he tells you- NOT telling you makes things worse in the long run.
Reliability and trustworthiness are attributes I value a great deal in a relationship, not to mention financial discipline. Why is he spending money on a vacation that could have gone toward a ring? Are you sure it’s your BF who wants the fancy proposal or does he think that’s what you expect?
Hummm, where did my comment go? It wasn’t that abrasive at all.
Anyway, I disagree with the bees saying you don’t need a ring. A man who gives his word and follows through is important. Also if he can’t save for a ring what about future financial obligation you will incure while married? A marriage is not just, “oh, I love him.”
http://www.bluenile.com has credit and zero interest for the first year (if it is seriously just about money). A nice $3000 ring could be paid off before the interest kicks in by paying $250 a month.
If not, me thinks you need to walk- only because an open ended timeline doesn’t work and telling you not to talk about it (after HE brought it up) won’t work either.
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