- 5 years ago
My boyfriend of 2 years (we’re not engaged) has told me many, many times that he finds me the most attractive WITHOUT ANY makeup, and that when I do wear makeup I look “pale and fuzzy”.
He also says that he’d be happy if I just wore yoga pants and a fitted work-out tank all day, everyday. (note: I don’t even do yoga, nor can I afford $90 lululemon leggings).
We have been in a West Coast/East Coast long-distance relationship for about 6 months, which is why I think I especially feel the need to wear makeup and put some effort into my outfits for the few days we ARE together every 1-2 months. I don’t care as much when we skype since the video quality isn’t that great, but I do brush my hair and usually look halfway presentable lol.
I am naturally pretty pale, but I’m feeling really confused by his comments. From my perspective, I am at least TRYING to look nice for him (and for myself, because it gives me some added confidence). But my efforts feel wasted because the only times he sincerely tells me I’m beautiful is when I’m ready for bed, in PJs, and have nothing on my face!
This last time we were together I literally spent days planning my outfits, refilling stuff from Sephora/CVS, bought a new perfume etc.. He basically wore sweatpants half the time and jeans/old T-shirts the other half. He would make comments that pointed this out (e.g. “I always look like a bum next to you”), but his opinion is for ME to stop trying so hard…what do I even say to that?
A few notes:
-I don’t dress particuarly trendy or over-the-top in terms of fashion. I dress for my body-type and what feels comfortable/flattering on me.
-I have spent hours on YouTube watching beauty tutorials and reading blogs about how to apply makeup, brands, etc. so I don’t think I’m doing it completely wrong.
-Is it weird that he thinks I look MORE pale with makeup on? I don’t think I do but that’s what he claims. I have had my foundation matched by a MUA every 3-4 months trying to prevent any mismatches.
-Is the “fuzziness” he complains about due to my powder? I usually apply it very lightly with a kabuki brush, just to cut down on shine.
For reference, when I wear makeup I use:
Revlon’s 24-hour colorstay foundation
Revlon Nearly Naked Powder
Nars in Laguna (bronzer)
Bobbie Brown in Peony (blush).
Urban Decay’s eyeshadow primer in original
Covergirl’s Lash Blast mascara with an eyelash curler
Colorless chapstick or aquaphor on my lips
I own the Naked Basics palette for eyeshadow but only use it on rare occassions.
Thanks for any advice.