(Closed) BF stumbled over some BAD emails from my parents (about him)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

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koalaboo:  

If you are financially dependent on your parents (since you say that you are in medical school and your parents are buying things such as a laptop for you), you are giving your parents a very valid motivation in keeping their grasp on you.  And in a way, you also are holding on to them, since you are not an independent adult.  While it’s good to hear that you and your parents are going to a family therapist, improvement is limited unless you yourself are both mentally and financially independent from your parents.  It is unfair to ask your parents to respect all your choices and decisions as an independent adult when you are not portraying yourself as an independent adult.  If your parents are “giving” you “things with strings attached”, then don’t accept them at all and work on being completely independent.  If you cannot survive on your own without your parents’ help, then unfortunately, you need to suck it up and respect their “attachments” until you are able to get yourself out of the hole.  

Healthy relationship will follow suite, once you are in a detached, independent relationship with your parents as a responsible adult yourself.

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