(Closed) Bf trying to ruin our plans!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sorry, I’m confused. Do you not live together?  In what way did you “snoop” to find out he didn’t go to bed until 5?

He can’t sleep when it’s windy?  Did he say that he went to bed at 12?  If not, he didn’t really lie to you…

Post # 5
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Umm… you could go shopping for your own parents and leave him figure out his on his own?

Post # 7
Member
1469 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Hmm I think you are being paranoid.  It was pretty windy last night and maybe he woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep so he was chatting with his friend.  I know that sometimes when I can’t fall back asleep, I’ll write emails or something or go online.

Just tell him the weather shouldn’t influence your shopping plans for today and nicely remind him that you made these plans awhile ago and ask if he can meet you at X time.

Post # 8
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Maybe go shopping a little later than planned?

Post # 9
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would do a few things since you seem confident he was up late and lied to you

1) I would send him a text saying you plan to leave at X time and if he can’t make it he can shop when he has time by himself

2) when you next talk to him be honest and say you think he wasnt being straight with you and that you saw he was talking to X friend until 5 in the morning and the wind did not in fact wake up him

3) depending on his answer you tell him that is is either a) if fesses up, its not OK to lie to you and that you expect full honesty in the future and you are giving him a pass this once, but that this is not a respectful way to treat you or b)if he doesnt fess up you have to believe him unless you are so positive he lied in which case you have another problem on your hands.

Post # 11
Member
9114 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

As someone who sleeps like the dead, the wind wakes me up. Surely you know your boyfriend better than I, but it’s not unheard if.

I’d just go shopping myself and let him fend for his own family.

 

Post # 13
Member
9884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@amberdk:   Can you ask him if you can go together later after he’s had time to get some sleep?  I wouldn’t get into a fight about something as minor as this, really.  If you want to go with him tell him you’ll wait until he’s ready.  If he doesn’t want to go you’ll have to go by yourself, though. 

But he didn’t really do anything wrong; maybe the wind did wake him up or maybe he was having trouble falling asleep because of the wind.  I hate wind, it really bothers me, especially having lived through a hurricane once.  And if I wake up in the middle of the night I can’t fall back to sleep for hours sometimes, everyone is different at different times about sleep. 

Certainly accusing him of lying isn’t going to help your relationship.  He has a right to play Xbox if he wants to and also to talk with his friends.  Don’t be unreasonable, lol.  ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 14
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Sunfire:  +1. Sometimes I tell my Fiance that I am going to bed and need to get off the phone but I get distracted and start doing something else (like play Mafia Wars) and end up going to bed much later

Post # 15
Member
3340 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

How do you know he was awake the whole time?  Did you spy on him from 10pm till 5am?  I think you’re overreacting about this…he could have gone to sleep and woken up at 5am from the wind, talked to his friend on Facebook for a few minutes, texted you, and gone back to sleep.  This is not a big deal unless you make it one.

Post # 16
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Let him fend for himself. I’d buy his family small gifts, just to make sure you’re covered if he completely drops the ball, but let him do it himself. He will figure out when he is standing in a forever-long line on Christmas Eve, with the traffic at a virtual standstill on any road within a mile of a mall or major shopping center, why it’s kind of stupid to wait. Let this be a life lesson for him ๐Ÿ˜€

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