(Closed) BFF highly unlikely to make it for wedding. Should I postpone?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I postpone my wedding for my friend?
    Move it. It's only 6 extra weeks! : (56 votes)
    75 %
    Keep it. She'll be there in spirit! : (19 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    632 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    If you haven’t planned anything yet I’d move the date. You said it herself that you can’t imagine anyone else standing beside you. You already have a 1+ year engagement, 6 weeks is nothing in the big picture

    Post # 4
    Member
    8369 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    It depends on whether you want her at your wedding or not. If the date is more important then do not move but if having her there is more important than move the date.

    Personally I would move my date to ensure that those I couldn’t see my wedding day without were there.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1860 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I ended up missing my best friend’s wedding. She got engaged in March and called me to tell me about it and told me it was going to be that September – unfortunately, I had already committed to studying abroad in Spain that semester, so I was going to miss it. She could have tried to push it up or push it back, but I didn’t want her to go through the stress of changing her plans/ideas. I got to see pictures and videos and help her pick out her dress, so it was ok.

    Like PP said, if you don’t think it’s a big deal to wait, then do it. But if you really don’t want a June wedding, then don’t have a June wedding. It’s about you and your fiance, and if she can’t be there, that sucks, but you’ll still be married at the end of the day.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6344 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    The people are much more important than the date to me, so unless it meant postponing by like a year (we’re having a very long engagement as it is), I personally would postpone if I was able (ie wouldn’t lose money). I would be devastated if my best friends couldn’t be there, no date is that important to me that I’d rather not have them there.

    Post # 7
    Member
    5662 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    6 weeks will fly but and you won’t know the difference by the time 2014 comes around. If you guys are super close though and it’s important that she be there I’d move it. We scheduled our date around a few key people that it was important to us that we have there, but once we set the date and put down our deposit that was that.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7758 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t see any harm in moving the date. I wouldn’t move it 6 months for anyone. But 6 weeks isn’t very much, and I don’t see any downside to it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    That’s tough. I know I would need my best friend there. I guess it comes down to how big of a deal it is to you – is it a dealbreaker? For me, I would say yes. Like arbie86 said – the people are more imortant to me. Hope it all works out!

    Post # 10
    Member
    4687 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

    If you don’t want to get married in June purely because you “don’t want to be another June bride”, I’d say that might not be a good enough reason. There are so many weddings in June for a reason!

    Post # 11
    Member
    748 posts
    Busy bee

    Since you have flexibility and it’s only 6 weeks, there should be no problem in waiting as long as she’s sure she can be there.

    Post # 12
    Member
    332 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Move it if she’ll be there! But make sure you discuss it with her first.

    My BFF beated around the bush about whether she could attend my wedding or not. It was no problem for us to schedule our wedding after her school was over this summer and then when we found a date that was perfect for EVERYONE she literally came up with one excuse after another to not attend and I finally gave up on having her attend. Some people just can’t afford the travel expense and don’t want to hurt your feelings.

    The most important thing to realize is this is YOUR day and having family and friends is just an added bonus to share in that magical day!

    Post # 13
    Member
    418 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @BeeRod527:  Ummmm… have you discussed this with your Fiance or does he not get a say on what day he’s getting married?

    And no. Initially I say you don’t postpone your wedding for one person unless the one person is either you or your Fiance

    Post # 15
    Member
    1132 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Personally, I couldn’t imagine not having my best friend at my wedding.  She is my rock when things are rough, and she knows she’ll be my Maid/Matron of Honor.  We also live in different cities (3-4 hours apart if you’re driving), and if she couldn’t make it, I’d postpone. 

    Of course that’s my opinion though, if you can do it without her beside you, then by all means keep the date.  On the flip side, it is ONLY 6 extra weeks.

    On the other side, could you move it UP to March?  I don’t know if you guys have it of course, but here we always have a March Break / Reading Week. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    521 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Italiano's Humble

    I couldn’t imagine not having my Maid/Matron of Honor from IL here for this. That’s one of the reasons I wanted NYE so bad. She doesn’t go back to work til the 3rd.

    Could you push it back into July, so you’re not a “June Bride”? That’ll also give her time for those days immediately following the school year, for teacher inservices, grading, etc.

    IDK about where she is, but I know I often see teachers still going to the school up to 2 weeks after school is out, to finish things up, clean their room if they happen to be moving, etc…

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