Post # 1
This is not a post asking whether I have an official BFP or not, but it carries at least as much uncertainty. This morning I got an unmistakable positive on a FRER. This is the outcome that I wanted, but I do not feel excited because both of my previous pregnancies have ended in miscarriage at around 5-6 weeks. I’m scared the same thing is going to happen this time around.
Does anybody have advice for how I can make this journey less frightening? Will early monitoring of hcg levels make it more or less agonizing? Should I cut out coffee and hairspray and try to take every precaution, or just contiue to live my life normally (I don’t drink or smoke) and not make a big deal out of it?
I’d love to hear from other women who have gone on to have successful pregnancies after two or more losses. How did you cope with the anxiety?
My final question for women who have had successful pregnancies: Do symptoms come and go from day to day? I had some a few days ago, but none so far today. Should I be concerned?
Post # 3
So sorry for your past experiences , I’ll tell you from what know and being around lots of pregnant women.
Lay off the caffeine period
Do you microwave food in plastic bowls be careful with that as some cases shown miscarriages from women who eat microwave food in plastic bowls because of the chemical released
Relax and try to stay as stress free as possible
Unless this is something that happens in your family with women then wouldn’t worry so much
I have known women in the past siisters and mothers who has had problems conceiving idk if it could be a genetic
Look up foods that may cause a miscarriage and stayaway
Have you checked your pregestrone levels
I’m using my phone so apologize , also m just giving you what know some may be true and some may not these are things that I have witnessed myself and heard from other women who have been in your shoes
Post # 4
@mysterybee123: First of all congratulations! I know how hard it is to be excited right now but hopefully this is it for you! I am currently almost 13 weeks with what seems like a perfectly healthy pregnancy after 2 loses. I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I will never get to experience a “normal” pregnancy. I will always be more anxious than excited. Did you have any testing after your loses?
I chose not to have my levels tested this time because I found it way to anxiety provoking last time and it won’t change the outcome. For me it was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. Instead I had early ultrasounds. How well is your dr following you? My Dr us great and that makes all the difference. I am also taking baby aspirin this time, maybe that is worth looking into? Honestly the anxiety has never really gone away but it comes in waves but I know in my heart ever ything will be fine. Honestly getting excited about this pregnancy has been so much fun but it took me time to get here.
My symptoms come and go at 6 weeks my boobs stopped hurting and I assumed the worst but there was that little heartbeat. Try not to analyze every symptom but I know how hard that is.
Be kind to yourself, give yourself permission to stress, and think about what will help you feel at ease such as blood tests or ultrasounds and don’t be shy to call your dr for anything and everything!
Good luck and feel free to message me anytime, I know exactly how you feel!
Post # 5
@BeautyBox: Thanks for your response. I haven’t had any tests done because the doctor didn’t think they were necessary until after 3 miscarriages. It’s kind of frustrating.
@mtler: Thank you! I am so glad to hear that you have seen your baby’s heartbeat. It is my dream to experience that one day. I also had a nightmare with the hcg draws. Every other day I’d get them taken and then wait for a call back from the doctor. She’d say that they were low or slow rising and that we’d just have to wait and see. I was a nervous wreck the whole time. I don’t have very positive feelings about my doctor, which makes this whole situation extra frustrating. I feel that she wasn’t very sympathetic or supportive when I had my miscarriages. I’m considering switching to a different one.
Post # 6
Same thing happened to me. 2 losses around 5 weeks. However, I am currently 32 weeks pregnant, and no issues so far. There is nothing you can really do, but relax and try to think that if its a healthy baby it will stick around. I chose not to test hcg levels this time around until 2 weeks after my bfp, and i was also not very excited and it affected my pregnancy in that i was generally very anxious in the beginning and trying to stay disconnected from it, in case anything happened. But, somehow with every week it bacame easier and i just decided to go with “whatever is meant to be, will be”, that helped me not be anxious and just enjoy every day as it comes. Such early losses like u and I had are usually just a chromosomal issue and nothing that you did caused it, try to remember the best thing is to not stress although i know its hard…
Post # 7
@MrsOats: Thank you. It’s really nice to hear a success story like yours. I’ll keep in mind that there’s not much I can do to affect the outcome. It’s hard not to stress out and analyze symptoms and lack thereof. Congratulations on your soon-to-be-born baby!
Post # 8
@mysterybee123: When i told my dr how stressed the hcg draws were she felt terrible. She thought they would be reassuring, which they would have been had it been a viable pregnancy but i just couldnt go through that again. If you dont feel like your dr is a good fit and you can find a new one, i say go for it. Do whatever makes you feel most at ease!
Post # 9
I only had one but it was still stressful/still is. I’m 15w1d and freak out some days. We have had ultrasounds every two weeks which has helped. Has you doctor monitored you to find out if there is a hormone deficiency or anything? I had low progesterone so had that monitored the first few weeks along with hcg. Once we saw a heartbeat around 7w I relaxed a bit.
Post # 10
@lovemygsp: I’m glad things seem to be going well for you this time around. My doctor hasn’t done any sort of testing because she thinks it’s not necessary after just two miscarriages. I hope she’s right and that I’m healthy and just unlucky with the first two. I hope we’re both lucky this time!
Post # 11
@mysterybee123: I had two miscarriages and a chemical pregnancy before getting pregnant this time around. My doctor did tests to see what was causing the miscarriages but all of the tests came back fine. With this pregnancy I started taking progesterone supplements right away as a precaution. I had already cut myself off of caffeine before getting my BFP. We also stopped having sex for awhile because my doctor said that anyone who has a history of repeat pregnancy loss should not have sex when they are pregnant because it isn’t safe. I’m not sure how much I believe that…but we took his advice during the first trimester and then once we passed the 13-14 week mark we got somewhat relaxed about the no-sex rule ;). I also made sure I was taking a high quality prenatal vitamin. I found out that the prenatal vitamins that you take 3 times a day are actually better since your body can absorb the folic acid better.
I had my HCG monitored closely with this pregnancy and I also had early ultrasounds. My first ultrasound was at 7 weeks and I had another one at 10 weeks. I was so, so scared of losing this baby and every time I went for an ultrasound and saw the little heartbeat flickering on the screen I would cry my eyes out with relief. There were moments when I thought for sure I was going to have another miscarriage. I questioned every little cramp and twinge. I even had spotting around 7-8 weeks but everything turned out fine. I did a LOT of praying. Whenever I felt really anxious I’d go lay down for a bit, put my hand on my belly and pray to God to keep this baby healthy and safe.
I’m happy to say that I’m just over 26 weeks pregnant with my little boy so there is definitely hope for having a healthy pregnancy after having miscarriages! You’ll have symptoms that come and go but that’s no indication of the health of your pregnancy. Just take care of yourself, take your prenatals and stay away from Google. Seriously, Google is your enemy right now!
Good luck with your pregnancy mama! 🙂
Post # 12
@mysterybee123: when I thought I was losing this little gal I was ready to go to my doctor and put up a fight to get more tests. Luckily I didn’t have to and they watched me closely. I’m sorry your doctor doesn’t feel the same. Maybe if you call and explain to them your new bfp they will offer hcg tests? That is if you want them. *hugs* I really hope this one sticks.
The other suggestions of high vitamins is a good idea. There is a disorder, mtrf, that causes folic acid to not be used right so taking a high quality vitamin can help because it is folate instead. Also, I also had early bleeding and was on bed rest, no sex. I’d just make sure to take it easy. Another hug!
Post # 13
@mysterybee123: congratulations on being pregnant again. I have had 3 MCs and I got a BFP this morning (4 weeks so far). For my first two pregnancies (MCed at 5 & 6 weeks respectively) I did everything right, and it made no difference. I relaxed a little for the third (ended in MC at 7 weeks after numbers started declining at 6 weeks). I had all the diagnostic tests in June and they came back normal. I will get my HCG drawn again. I have a preschooler and I feel like I need to be prepared if this does end in MC. I was able to do a lot of my grieving before the MC started and plan ahead with getting my Dear Daughter out of the house while it was happening (she’s too young to understand at the moment). I plan on having one medium cup of coffee a day, and if I can – get that down to every other day. I will continue to take my prenatals plus an extra Vit D supplement. I’m also working on incorporating more folate rich foods in my diet, making sure I drink 8 glasses of water a day and prepare fresh food for most meals instead of tinned/prepackaged food items. I’ve also dramatically reduced my diet coke intake. Mentally I’ve made sure that I’m not hyper focused on TTC and will try and do the same with the 1st trimester of this pregnancy. I’ve also been lucky enough to make friends with someone who has also had recurrent MCs (and has gone on to successfully have 3 kids) and being able to talk/vent to her has helped my mental/emotional state. I plan on asking my OB practice about a progesterone supplement this morning. I hope this is of use to you and good luck and stixky baby dust to both of us!
Post # 14
@mysterybee123: Looks like the 3 of us are all in the same boat. I had my BFP yesterday – the first cycle since my last MC. I have an 8 year old daughter, but I also have had 4 MC so it’s so scary.
Let’s give each other support. FX for all us
Post # 15
@mysterybee123: so sorry for your losses. I experienced a mc before my current pregnancy (15weeks now) so I feel you on being anxious and stressed. This time around I forced myself and my Darling Husband to only think positive and be positive, whatever the outcome was going to be it was going to happen so I tried my hardest to keep positive thoughts and totally stress free.
I was MUCH pushier with my practice the second time around, first time they didn’t do any blood draws and I had a missed mc so I felt that I could have found out sooner, had my d and c sooner, and would have been able to move on sooner if I had had them done. So this time when I was feeling anxious I pushed for hcg and progesterone blood draws. I’m so glad I did. I found out I had very low progesterone and was put on supplements immediately. I truly believe if I hadn’t had been an advocate for myself and for this baby, this pregnancy wouldn’t have survived.
Just my experience but do what you have to do to feel comfortable with your doctor and what they are telling you, especially with the whole 3 mc’s rule. If you still aren’t happy switch doctors! Best of luck and prayers to you for a sticky baby!!
Post # 16
@sunshinebee: congratulations! I really hope and pray this is it for all of us! xx