BF's biggest regret is his ex

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
70 posts
Worker bee

Unless I read this incorrectly, I don’t think the great job offer is available anymore… 

but I agree with all the PPs. Leave. He’s not over his ex! 

Post # 32
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

cantjumptenfeet :  Take the job offer and guaranteed that you will become the new biggest regret of his life

Post # 33
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you really love this guy…but I’m not sure that is reciprocated…if there is any way to get in touch with the company who originally offered you the job I would try to reach out see if there’s any way you can accept job.  But I agree…sounds like the job is gone…too bad

Post # 34
Member
7910 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

He’s not over her unfortunately. I wouldn’t want to be someone’s runner up. He definitely has some issues to work through before he can be in a healthy relationship again. 

Post # 35
Member
1147 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

Wow. My heart aches for you. I agree you deserve better.

Post # 36
Member
756 posts
Busy bee

I went through a very difficult break up.  I didn’t leave the house for 4 months other than going to work.  It took me 3 years to feel “okay”. I was very depressed,  our breakup was very traumatic.  

I didn’t think I would ever meet anyone and was not looking for anyone when I met my Fiance. 

From the moment I met my Fiance, I didn’t think twice about my ex. The love was not comparable.  This love was much stronger and selfless. OP, you deserve better, and I hope you find it.  

Post # 37
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

He’s clearly not over her. Getting sad at her anniversary posts on facebook? Why the heck is he still even friends with her? He’s a giantic baby that needs to get a grip and move on. And he said he loved his ex more than he loves you?? Honey, that isn’t a lie. That’s the god honest truth that happend to spill out of his mouth when he was emotionally compromised. 

Don’t stay with this man. He’s using you as a security blanket while he grieves about his ex. 

Post # 38
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

 

cantjumptenfeet :  giiiiiirl if you don’t take that job offer!!

*insert sassy, side-eyeing gif here* (I don’t know how to post them 😐 )

Post # 39
Member
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m sorry Bee, but it sounds like she’s the one who got away. It means he’s not over her and apparently has no qualms letting you know. Yes, he probably does love you and would probably marry you, but it would be as long as he knows he can’t be with her. She’ll always be in the background. It’s telling that the only fights you’ve had are about her, and she’s married to someone else and out of the picture. 

I would be out.

Post # 40
Member
1017 posts
Bumble bee

My fiance has been engaged before, but he ending up changing his mind and calling off the engagement.  If he told me that his biggest regret was not going through with the wedding and marrying his ex, I would be devastated.  I don’t think I could stick around after that.

Post # 41
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

He’s not over her. If he was, he would not regret not marrying her. If he was over her then even though it might have felt like a mistake at the time, by now he would think it was for the best because it allowed him to meet you. 

He regrets not marrying her. That means he wishes he was married to her. 

Post # 42
Member
330 posts
Helper bee

When he said he loves her more than you, that was him being honest. When he gets sad when he thinks of her, that’s his true emotions. 

I can tell you this from my point of view as the ex he never got over. 

My ex and I were great. We were engaged and he was younger than me and he just wasn’t ready so I broke it off. Everyone was shocked. They didn’t know the full story and it wan’t their business so I alwasy just said we broke up and that’s that. People who barely knew us outside of work even commented on how I was the love of his life. His dad messaged me and said how he was so much better than me and now he’s fallen into something bad. Even after we broke up, I tried to help him as a friend. He asked me back immediately and I said no. I loved him still so much so I told him what I needed before we can be together again. 

I met someone else and he started looking for someone. The whole time he was looking and talking to others, he always said he loved me and tried to get me back. He started dating this girl and even then, he would message or call and say he loves me. She got jealous and told him it’s me or her. It didn’t matter, he still messaged me. One day he was saying how he misses me and loves me, he doesn’t even love her, he hates that his family likes her, all kinds of stuff. He even commented on how she’d leave him if she saw the messages. She saw it that night. I know he left it there on purpose. She called me yelling and I tried to make her see she deserves better, we both did. She stayed. She got knocked up and had a baby. While she was pregnant, he was still trying to see me and talk to me. She knew the whole time he loved me and wanted me back. She knew I was the love of his life. I actually moved across country and when I went home for few days, he found out and wanted to see me. She found out and texted me all kinds of nasty things and said their fights are always about me. I know he was trying to say things to make her mad and jealous to get her to leave him. He has told me multiple times if I would take him back, he would leave her in a heartbeat, baby or not.

It hurts to be on this end too because I did love him and I will always love him. I want the absolute best for him. Their relationship, despite having a baby, is never going to be okay because of me because he won’t let me go from his heart. I asked her how she stays with him and she couldn’t answer. She knew everything about me and our relationship, which tells me he talks about me a lot. I wanted her to walk away because she was a rebound and she did not deserve that. He needed time to truly heal but he never got that. I’m getting married next year but when he found out I was seriously dating someone and only dating, he became what your bf is doing. He was sad, felt the loss of me again, everything that reminded him of me made him cry, it was bad. We’ve been broken up for years now but he was still saying I was the one for him. I feel so bad for his gf and the baby. 

Your bf is a mess and not over his ex. My ex told his gf what he said wasn’t true about me and his feelings but we all knew it was. Same with your ex. He may say he didn’t mean it or it’s a joke but its the truth. 

Move on and be with someone who love YOU the most, not hung up on his ex. 

Post # 43
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

Wonder what happened between these two in the end?? OP update??

Post # 44
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

cantjumptenfeet :  Yeah I’d dump his ass quicker than shit off a shovel. Get out, get out!! RED FLAG RED FLAG bee! 

Post # 45
Member
1800 posts
Buzzing bee

TAKE THE JOB!!

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