(Closed) bf's dad said i have no prospects ……. :(

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1348 posts
Bumble bee

What matters most is that your SO knows what your decision meant. Are there hotels around then? You can always work your way up the hospitality ladder. 

Post # 4
114 posts
Blushing bee

Wow his dad sounds delightful.

You clearly do have prospects if you’re training and working so I’d completely ignore that comment. I think it’s bothered you a little because a small part of you feels that you have reduced your prospects my giving up college.  I suppose you have to ask yourself if you are going to be happy knowing that you’ve given up a career for your boyfriend. I wonder if you might come to resent him in the future as it sounds like it was really important to you.

Your boyfriend sounds like he is aware of the limitations his location is putting on his prospects too, are you sure he would never consider moving?  You could always re-visit studying later on if that’s the case.  I suppose what I’m trying to say is dont give up on your dreams because of your boyfriend, if your love is built to last then a few years of studying won’t do any harm.


That aside, don’t let his Dad’s comment bother you!

Post # 5
2258 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m a bit confused–did you finish college or drop out to move back with him? What career did you have that you gave up for him?

I don’t think it’s ever a good idea to give up something that important to you for someone else, as Pinkrefresher wisely stated, you might end up resenting him for that. Plus, as much as you love him, you need to look out for your own interests (career, etc) and your own happiness. Hands down, though, his father sounds like an ass for saying that. 

Post # 7
40 posts

It’s a very tough situation honey, hang in there!

But, to me, doing something is better than doing nothing. If med school is going to be too tough at this moment, I would always go to college, get a simpler degree (most you can finish in 3 years or so!) so you’ll be done by the time you’re 24. 

3 years away might seem like a long time, but keep in mind, the seeds you sow today last you a life time. otherwise, you’re paving a road for resentment and adjustment.

Post # 8
114 posts
Blushing bee

It’s so hard, I feel for you -especially with your potential time limit re: early menopause. But -don’t give up!!! You’re clearly a bright girl and I honestly think you would regret not following your dream career.  Would your boyfriend consider moving with you? If he’s qualified in a trade then he should be able to find work wherever you go -as his Dad says he has prospects!!! πŸ˜‰ (lol) 

I’m 30 and I’m still studying, I finish my postgrad this year. I’ve had my children whilst studying and yeah it’s been tough at times but so worth it!! On the other hand my Aunty did her degree in her 50s, so you could do it the other way around too!

I guess you need to think it over and talk to your boyfriend, there is a way, you don’t have to sacrifice everything for your relationship.

Good luck xx

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