Big age difference between your kids

posted 11 months ago in TTC
Post # 31
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I’m 8.5 years older than my sister, and we have always been incredibly close. I stayed in my home city for my undergrad and masters so I could be near her, I coached her team growing up (and now we get to coach together), she’d make posters and stand on the sidelines of my games, and we still have that sibling-like ability to know what each other is thinking. 

For us, it’s honestly probably good we had such a big gap – we’re both pretty competitive people and being far apart in age allowed us to not be jealous of each other. Now that we’re both grown, we steal/share each other’s clothes when we go over to each other’s places haha. 

But yeah, we were super lucky and found best friends in each other! 

Post # 32
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

There are 4.5 years between my sister and I. We are super close and have been most of our lives. I think how children get along is based more on personalities than how close in age they are. My cousins are eight years older than I and we get along awesome.

Post # 33
1395 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

I have a sibling 5 years older and a sibling 5 years younger than me, and I love them both! Sure we’re not the closest we could be, and there were challenges with the age gap growing up (one would be in the imaginary friend stage while the other wasn’t), but I would be much unhappier if I had no siblings at all. 

I’m also really close with my cousin who’s 7 years older than me. Especially once you’re older, age is just a number.

Post # 35
1978 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

My sister and I are 18 months apart and grew up as best friends.  My brother is 3 years older than me and I hated him as a kid.

My older sister is 5 years older and we’ve never been super close. I’m close to my sister who is 6 years younger than me. This is only as adults. We’ve only become closer as adults and I couldn’t relate to her until she was 16.

Lol I’m from a big family 

Post # 36
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think it is fine. Might be more fighting it they are closer together.

Post # 37
516 posts
Busy bee

I have a 9 & 12 year old and pregnant with baby no. 3 So no advice but I’m interested to see how my kids big age gap goes. Also this baby is from my 2nd marriage.

Post # 38
8 posts
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Foley, AL

My brother is 11 years older than I am. That, to me, is way too big of a gap. We do not have a relationship whatsoever. 5 years sounds like a perectly fine gap.

Post # 39
6793 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018

Whatever age gap, it will work out perfectly for you and your family. There are pros and cons to any age gap. Good luck!

Post # 40
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I am 6 years younger than my brother, we didn’t really “hang” until our 20s but honestly I don’t know if we would have regardless. We are SO different and it took a while to find common ground. 

My husband is 8 years older than his little brother (there was a middle brother who passed away when my husband was 11, middle was 7, and youngest was 2) so obviously a very different situation. But they were still pretty close, we had a rough patch with little Brother-In-Law from about 15-19 when he was just being a little shit and what not, but now he’s turning into a decent young man and we enjoy having him over.


Age gap won’t predetermine how close they are, that’s not something you can plan or manufacture. But for the love of Pete, please do not stick your oldest as a constant babysitter and always responsible for the little sibling. THAT is a quick way to get resentful. Helping out occasionally etc is fine, but some of my high school students are a literal 3rd parent to their younger sibling and have to prioritize that over school and other teenage things and it makes me so mad.

Post # 41
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

My brother was 16 when I was born 🙂 I was a surprise baby, obviously, haha (and then my mom popped out three more daughters after me lawls)

I’ve always had a tremendous relationship with my brother! We did play together, very often, even after he moved out when he was 20 and got his own place, we visited all the time. My parents were very adamant in nurturing a good relationship between all the kids, even for the youngest girl, who was born when my brother was 27. 

While my family is a bit of an extreme, it really does depend on how much effort you put into nurturing a relationship between the kids – not so much the age gap 🙂

Post # 42
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I think it depends on who you ask. My siblings are 6 and 7 years older than me. We have never been close. We never went to the same schools together or experienced milestones together. My sister was more like a babysitter/mini-mom, my brother was a bully who wanted nothing to do with me. It was pretty lonely growing up honestly because no one wanted to play with their baby sister. Obviously this is just my personal experience so there’s no saying how your children’s relationship will be.

Post # 43
362 posts
Helper bee

I am 9 years older than my youngest sibling and we are very close. It probably helped that there are four of us, so the age gap is 3 years, 6 years and 9 years. I think the middle sisters helped bridge the age gap. I didn’t really know the baby because I moved out when she was 8. But now she is 22 and we are besties.

Post # 44
27 posts
  • Wedding: November 2019

I was an ooops for lack of a better term.  There is 4 years difference total between my oldest sister and sister #3.  There is 10 years difference between me and sister #3.  The three of them are very close.   I am not close to any of them and as an adult really don’t have a relationship with them.  

Post # 45
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

swissbride :  I’m 28. My brother is 17 and my sister is 12.

I’m not super close to my brother, but I’m really close to my sister. Obviously our relationship is quite different than siblings closer in age, but I love having a little sister.  I think my brother and I will be closer when he’s an adult, for now he’s more interested in friends than family which I think is just pretty typical of his age. 

I know people who are Irish twins who aren’t close.  Honestly, siblings being close is just luck of the draw more often than not. 


Leave a comment

Find Amazing Vendors