(Closed) Big Changes … Excited & Scared

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m glad you guys were able to communicate better and that something wonderful has come up for you. I struggle with patience too, so I know how you feel.

Good luck!

Post # 4
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow that’s pretty stressful.  Good luck with the new home!

Post # 5
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

If your future Mother-In-Law will be relying on government funds (Medicare) to help pay the cost of senior living please discuss the sale of the house with an atty prior to moving forward. I can’t remember the exact timetable (3 yrs? 5 yrs?), but there is something about any funds from the sale of the house (or any property) have to be available for Medicare.

I wish I could remember exactly how it works, but, please, consult with an atty for clarification.

Post # 6
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Wow, Stace, I can almost completely understand where you are coming from! I know how stressed out and worn out  you must feel; planning a wedding, a future, and still trying to deal with “today” can be enough to put you in the crazy-house! I am so sorry that you and your fiance are at odds and having trouble with communication, my future hubby and I are constantly wondering how we ever get anything done with our AWFUL communication skills lol. We also live at home, but we live together over his parent’s house. We are planning on being on our own by the time we are married, but…..yeah I am just not sure how that is going to work out with him… At least you don’t have to spend 24/7 with your inlaws (although mine really are fabulous and I am very blessed with their acceptance-still it gets kinda stressed here too!)! I have found that clearly stating with my guy that there are a few things I need to go ahead and get OUR  final decision  on really helps; ask him if he can set aside a dinner/hour or so of just planning time that you both can go ahead and make just a few key decisions (guestlist or colors, time or location etc). Make sure you kinda consolidate what you want to talk about so that he doesn’t feel overwhelmed by everything and is more receptive to making those few seemingly minor decisions (which will ultimately help you with the big picture when you go back to planning obssesively like myself and the rest of us all do 🙂 ). I have made leaps and bounds with this strategy! Just breaking things up and taking it chunk by chunk, but never at the same time so neither of you get overwhelmed and add any undue stress!

And coming from one half of a coupe terrible at communicating, that is something that you guys should really work on; not trying to come off the wrong way, I just have totally been that person who is incapable of actually saying what they mean, it helps to just have word-vomit! Just spit it out, don’t stress over trying to find the perfect way to get it out. Then, once you get it out, shape it and fine-tune it into what you are truly trying to express. You still need to be kinda careful about when you just “spit it out”, but sometimes we take so much time trying to be “politically correct” that we aren’t getting out what we really need to. If you need time and planning from your man, just tell him! And then try and work out a way that you both can discuss your ideas and plans that works for both of  you!

Post # 7
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I can sympathize, in that I have also gotten to the super frustrated place where you are not on the same page and it is a terrible feeling. But, I think you did the best thing – talk through it- and now you are in a better place as a couple.

Buying a house definitely makes you feel like an adult! I had no idea how much responsibility this was until we bought a house together. On one hand it’s a great feeling to have your own space, that belongs to you, and on the other, boy is it time consuming!

Good luck to you and your FI!!

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