Post # 1
I am having HUGE issues on what to do about our guest list for our wedding, and need some advice!
I come from a small family, in total I will have 35 family members (including mom and dad’s side). My fiance on the other hand has a huge family!!
He has 50 first cousins and 20 aunts and uncles on his dads side, on his moms side is another 50 guests. Right now our wedding is over 150, and that is not including any friends.
Some of his family members have chosen not to invite anyone under the age of 19..but there are some cousins under 19 that we want to go..others we do not care about. Some have only invited cousins that are married, but again..some we want, some we don’t.
Does anyone have any advice… I am going crazy because feeding everyone is putting us WAY over budget!
Post # 3
Welcome! I think the best option, in these cases, is to draw a line somewhere about who will be invited versus who will not and then objectively apply that rule to everyone. So if you only want to invite aunts/uncleas/first cousins, you invite all the people who fit into those catergories from both sides of the family. I think once you start excluding some people from the same category (e.g. only some first cousins you like and not the ones you dislike), it can cause a lot of family drama.
Good luck! I’m sure you’ll figure it out!
Post # 4
I have the same problem!
FI’s family is small all together.
My moms side is tiny.
Stepdad’s side HUGE! I have at least 20 first cousins! And I am now kicking myself for picking such a pricey venue! Esp. for not getting price cuts for children!
Children and Adults are the same price! Yet children cant take full advantage of the bar like the Adults can…GRR!
Its really hard because we too are more close to some cousins than others and some we only see 1/2x a year! Why the heck would I want to pay for them to come to my wedding?! UGH! Its so hard girl! I totally feel you!
I really dont know how we are gonig to break the news to our families that we are having a SUPER intimate wedding!
Post # 5
Were just invited to a wedding where only certain people were invited to the actual reception.
The bride and groom are hosting a dessert only reception for everyone that attends the wedding immediately after the ceremony at the church. In their invitations they included a special invite to those that are invited to the real reception at another location. I thought it was a pretty creative solution to their budget issue.
Post # 6
Thanks for your comments. I think no matter what we end up doing, we aren’t going to keep everyone happy. We were Justin invited to the Fiances cousin’s wedding, but only to the ceremony and after dinner. They chose to invite only those that were married to dinner. This is an idea, but there are a lot of cousins that we want to come that aren’t married.
We will just stick with only inviting those over the age of 19, except for three cousins. Two of which are travelling with their parents from Calgary. Again, this is going to make some people unhappy but, it really is our wedding…and we are NEVER going to please anyone.
Post # 7
I don’t believe in a blanket rule where age or place in family heirarchy is the determining factor. What we did was invite people with whom we have a current, ongoing relationship. This means that some first cousins are invited, and others aren’t. Some kids are invited and others not.
If anyone dares to be so bold as to question my invites, I would be more then happy to explain it to them. Why would I invite a cousin that I haven’t seen in 7 years just because our parents are siblings?